tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post116978673813738311..comments2024-03-22T02:57:20.853-07:00Comments on Center of Gravitas: January SucksGayProfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11289510184782252498noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-81184295316964319682007-01-31T18:51:00.000-08:002007-01-31T18:51:00.000-08:00my comment has disappeared. :(my comment has disappeared. :(dykewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17776768691386493709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-82635372648475990512007-01-30T07:41:00.000-08:002007-01-30T07:41:00.000-08:00I wish I was able to offer real M&M's to help cons...I wish I was able to offer real M&M's to help console your soul this bleak January. In place of real ones, I offer some virtual ones, you pick the flavor. *hugs*Doughttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14065042871216479832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-34130149431977181302007-01-29T13:43:00.000-08:002007-01-29T13:43:00.000-08:00Cooper: It's a new day in the Catholic Church. Th...<b>Cooper:</b> It's a new day in the Catholic Church. They want to make religion sexy again.<br /><br /><b>Joshua:</b> Oh, I have a long list of "don't wants." That seems much easier. Process of elimination, however, doesn't seem like a good way to build a relationship.<br /><br /><b>Adrian:</b> Yeah, I don't think January sucking is related to winter (which normally doesn't bother me). It's the evil of the month.<br /><br /><b>Larry:</b> You are noble to provide that community service. Remember, use large, block print.<br /><br /><b>Tamara:</b> Aye.GayProfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11289510184782252498noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-47201227316273393632007-01-29T13:21:00.000-08:002007-01-29T13:21:00.000-08:00I think we should take a vote and dispense with Ja...I think we should take a vote and dispense with January in the Northern Hemisphere. Seasonal Affective Disorder, you know. All in favor of tearing it out of all calendars everywhere from now until the end of time say "Aye!"TheWickedWomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15366848226770733409noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-1170080943504640372007-01-29T06:29:00.000-08:002007-01-29T06:29:00.000-08:00Wait, feathering your hair is out of style???Crap,...Wait, feathering your hair is out of style???<BR/><BR/>Crap, I need to make a sign to put out by the street here. Hang on...Larryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18423390372744319739noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-1170059661322803942007-01-29T00:34:00.000-08:002007-01-29T00:34:00.000-08:00January suckiness seems to be one of those things ...January suckiness seems to be one of those things that applies globally, whether you live in the northern hemisphere or the southern hemisphere. I dunno. It's as though the festivities of December are fated to give way to disappointment and despair in January.<BR/><BR/>Thinking of you, at any rate, and hoping your worst fears transform into unexpected good luck.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-1170040883696996492007-01-28T19:21:00.000-08:002007-01-28T19:21:00.000-08:00I don't know what I want either. But I do know wh...I don't know what I want either. But I do know what I DON'T Want. And I think that's more important! Hang in there, and I hope things look up for you!Joshuahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04700684032178380286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-1170000659855126952007-01-28T08:10:00.000-08:002007-01-28T08:10:00.000-08:00That Lady of Guadalupe sure doesn't look like the ...That Lady of Guadalupe sure doesn't look like the "holy cards" they gave me when I was a kid on the rare occasions when I knew all the answers in cathechism class!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-1169997297985429082007-01-28T07:14:00.000-08:002007-01-28T07:14:00.000-08:00MaggieMay: Actually, the second half of February o...<B>MaggieMay:</B> Actually, the second half of February often brings good things to me. We can say that starts on February 18.<BR/><BR/><B>Rebekah</B>:You swear? Huh. March is not so much of a problem for me.<BR/><BR/><B>Chad:</B> Thanks -- I know I will get by -- I just am not sure what the end result will look like.<BR/><BR/><B>Bruce:</B> My zero-room apartment didn't come equipped with a fireplace. Oh, but how it is equipped with wine.<BR/><BR/><B>TornWordo:</B> I probably make the details sound more dramatic when they are obscured.<BR/><BR/><B>Kalvin:</B> Yes, I do gauge my life by culturally and socially determined processes that came to inform my sense of the universe. At times, I would like to push against those learned processes and consider how other people measure their lives.<BR/><BR/><B>Jefe:</B> Sounds like a match, baby.<BR/><BR/><B>LotusLander:</B> Yeah, see, I am starting to wonder if Crazy-Old-Cat-Queer-Guy is my destiny. <BR/><BR/><B>Adam:</B> There seems to be a consensus on January.<BR/><BR/><B>Jeremy:</B><I>And really, our lives are just God's punishment for pole smoking.</I><BR/><BR/>Well, in that case I am willing to endure all of this for something that is so, so right.<BR/><BR/><B>Huntington:</B> Yeah, I feel what you are putting down about the relationship. I can acknowledge that there were good times in those eight years. Obviously, it wasn't all some twisted nightmare. I also know that I am hardly perfect in terms of relationships. I just don't, you know, lie. Nor have I ever gotten to the point where I think of another human being, especially one that I have spent eight years with, as "clutter" (as he named me) and, therefore, undeserving of even basic respect. In his mind, the fact that we disagreed about minor things, like furniture styles, justified his thoughtless and cowardly treatment of me (even though, btw, he ultimately kept all of the furniture that we purchased together, so even that flimsy excuse seems like a lie).<BR/><BR/>We can't take back what we've done, though, so really embracing regret won't help. That relationship sucked. I accepted the crap that Liar Ex (Who Told Many Lies) kept tossing out. <BR/><BR/>As I see it, I have two major issues to resolve from that experience. One: How not to leak bitterness (which is obviously coming through now) and Two: How to decide when certain things are just compromises made in all relationships verses somebody who is just manipulating you for his own selfish ends.<BR/><BR/><B>Arthur:</B> Well, my long-term future location certain comes into play here as well. Among the other things that are happening, it's difficult to think about returning to Texas.GayProfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11289510184782252498noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-1169967052746180722007-01-27T22:50:00.000-08:002007-01-27T22:50:00.000-08:00Although I was born in January, I never liked the ...Although I was born in January, I never liked the month. Too cold, too snowy, not enough presents (not far enough from Christmas).<BR/><BR/>However, now that I live in the Southern Hemisphere, where the seasons are reversed, Januarys are completely better (apart from the presents bit, maybe...). Choose the country wisely and you can find one with a nicer climate, sensible government and glorious summer days in January. You may even find a nice Southern Hemisphere person to be wonderful with.<BR/><BR/>And if you can't make even a short trip, you can always dream about it and plan for the day you can. Planning the escape may help brighten the darkest January day. It worked for me, anyway.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-1169960215002313372007-01-27T20:56:00.000-08:002007-01-27T20:56:00.000-08:00Yeah, dittoes on the January thing. I'm really com...Yeah, dittoes on the January thing. I'm really commenting, though, because I agree wholeheartedly with Bruce on the whole "bad long-term relationship not wasted" thing. I had a similar one that lasted seven years (plus a year-plus in hangover codependence), and I keep discovering new lessons to apply now from how awful it often was then. I've also managed to separate out and enjoy the memories of the good parts, which goes a long way towards not feeling as though a whole seven of my <I>best, most vital years</I>, as they say in the beginning of Cliffs Notes, were flushed down the toilet.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-1169936132068529852007-01-27T14:15:00.000-08:002007-01-27T14:15:00.000-08:00Agreed. January sux.And I think its hard to, y'kno...Agreed. January sux.<BR/>And I think its hard to, y'know, marry your long-term goals with your day-to-day living. Hell, even short-term goals. I say live honestly. Know what the endgame is, and know that everyday, while encumbered by memory, is also floaty with possibility.<BR/>And really, our lives are just God's punishment for pole smoking.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-1169931587278333172007-01-27T12:59:00.000-08:002007-01-27T12:59:00.000-08:00Yeah its a crappy month, I agree.Yeah its a crappy month, I agree.Adamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12869584065420927072noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-1169930925853494452007-01-27T12:48:00.000-08:002007-01-27T12:48:00.000-08:00January is my dark month too, and I usually have t...January is my dark month too, and I usually have to up my meds. "Always Winter and Never Christmas", from the Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. I like the disco version better. As for as men go, don't give up, even though it's hard to date, it's better than ending up a crazy old cat lady. Wait, maybe not.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-1169923856509953452007-01-27T10:50:00.000-08:002007-01-27T10:50:00.000-08:00Oh, gayprof, I totally hear ya. Just using your bl...Oh, gayprof, I totally hear ya. Just using your blog to work out my own issues.<BR/><BR/>And doesn't THAT make ME irresistible?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-1169914364604424432007-01-27T08:12:00.000-08:002007-01-27T08:12:00.000-08:00It's funny to me how sometimes existentialism can ...It's funny to me how sometimes existentialism can be simultaneously so fulfilling and so alienating. Honestly, we've all made mistakes as I'm sure you're well aware, and I'm sure you hold yourself up against the only standard that is of any importance according to your own systems of value. God that was vague. January is indeed a brittle and blithe mistress. I too hope that she is far from me soon, and that VD will not be painfull. My best wishes for your success and hapiness.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-1169903072033923822007-01-27T05:04:00.000-08:002007-01-27T05:04:00.000-08:00I can relate to the sentiments, but really wish th...I can relate to the sentiments, but really wish there were some DETAILS. You probably can't go into detail due to the non-anonymity thing. Still, I wish for them.tornwordohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16581361982939423598noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-1169900306475981862007-01-27T04:18:00.000-08:002007-01-27T04:18:00.000-08:00Greetings from another gay prof, in a long term pa...Greetings from another gay prof, in a long term partnership with yet another gay prof (The profession actually competes with hair dressing and interior decorating for gay participation).<BR/><BR/>Couldn't agree with you more about January. And although it isn't so cold here in Venice, it's cold enough. And all we have to look forward to is Carnevale in February, when the city is invaded with hords of drunken Germans, who seem to confuse it with Oktoberfest. But there is a pretty effective antidote (short of getting on a plane for Martinique or Rio):<BR/><BR/>1) Lite a fire in the fireplace (This part, actually, is a fantasy. Open fires are prohibited in Venice--- and rightly so. But the rest is real.)<BR/><BR/>2) Open a bottle of good red wine. Go ahead, splurge. The best red wine you can afford. Use a proper red wine glass, so none of the pleasure of the perfume is lost.<BR/><BR/>3) Set out a plate of several sorts of good quality cheese and bread. <BR/><BR/>4) Put on some "sunny" music that you love. (For me it's one of Händel's late operas, like Alcina or Ariodante; or Vivaldi's Orlando furioso or Bajazet. But put on whatever does it for you. It should be at least long enough so that you get through half the bottle of wine without having to change the music.<BR/><BR/>5) Dim the lights and enjoy the wine, the cheese, the music, and yourself!<BR/><BR/>Repeat the treatment at least twice a week until the buds start to sprout on the trees. (The antidote for spring fever is better known, so I'll leave that to your imagination.)<BR/><BR/>As for the rest of your post: Agreed. Catholicism is a mind and soul crippling institution, but so are all monotheistic religions (a common theme in my blog). But the particular cruelty of Catholocism is that it uses all (yes, all. Cf. Saint John of the Cross) of the pleasures of the sensory world to convince you that you should deprive yourself of them. (I'm Jewish, but all of my long term partners have been RC--- I know from what i speak.)<BR/><BR/>As for your having "wasted" 8 years in your former relationship: My first relationship lasted 13 years, whereas it should have lasted 13 minutes. But still, those years were not wasted. There were things I learned--- not all negative--- that made my present, very happy ten year relationship possible. Sure, I could have spent those 13 years more profitably, undoubtedly more happily, but I guess it took 13 years for me to learn some necessary lessons about myself. After all, nobody tied me to that guy. Why did I do it, why did I stay so long, how did I finally get out? All important questions to ask.<BR/><BR/>Be well.Brucehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07082939536876342094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-1169876646218193242007-01-26T21:44:00.000-08:002007-01-26T21:44:00.000-08:00I know you'll get through this, just because you'r...I know you'll get through this, just because you're brilliant. Drop me a line if you need to talk.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-1169874906015603752007-01-26T21:15:00.000-08:002007-01-26T21:15:00.000-08:00This is a fucking hard time of year.Yeah, I said i...This is a fucking hard time of year.<BR/><BR/>Yeah, I said it, fucking.<BR/><BR/>What, you thought I didn't swear?<BR/><BR/>I've been having a devil of a time tryng to post a comment over the last couple of nights; don't know what's been going on with blogger.<BR/><BR/>March is the hardest month for me. And think about it. It's something one is forced to do.<BR/><BR/>Not fun.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-1169855081508822742007-01-26T15:44:00.000-08:002007-01-26T15:44:00.000-08:00You are so right on about January sucking. Howeve...You are so right on about January sucking. However, I would like to point out that A New Era will begin on February 18th-- my birthday. My friend William tells me this is also the beginning of the Chinese new year. So, good things are in store.<BR/><BR/>Yours in Catholic gravitas,<BR/><BR/>MaggieMargarethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03047700345491098393noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-1169847496688228032007-01-26T13:38:00.000-08:002007-01-26T13:38:00.000-08:00Antonio: Yeah, I could talk about V-Day as a heter...<B>Antonio:</B> Yeah, I could talk about V-Day as a heterosexist institution designed to keep the queer folk down -- It makes me sound [more] bitter, though.<BR/><BR/><B>Dorian:</B> Thanks, Dorian. I appreciate it. One way or the other, I will do fine -- probably -- I think.<BR/><BR/><B>B.:</B> But the Disco version reverses the narrative voice. How could you go wrong with that?<BR/><BR/><B>Steve:</B> I am assuming that you had to listen to Lightfoot over and over as part of an initiation into either a Frat, Sports Team, or Religious Cult.<BR/><BR/><B>Will:</B> That sounds fantastic. How did MIT receive it? Who was the audience?<BR/><BR/><B>Atari:</B> There's always room for you in the depression circle. Yes, let's get a drink when it gets closer to 30 degrees.<BR/><BR/><B>Laura:</B> Yeah, I feel what you are putting down regarding the choices thing. In some cases, though, I did make choices that I knew were not good. My own inner voice called out, but I ignored it.<BR/><BR/><B>VUBOQ:</B> March, eh. That explains why the banks close.<BR/><BR/><B>WiccaChicky:</B> Well, I would like to think that next January won't suck like this one. Only time will tell.<BR/><BR/><B>Earl:</B> Yeah, but that chocolate is 50% off on February 15. It's better just to wait.<BR/><BR/>In the meantime, I will probably do what I did last year: Crush up some Xanax in a bowl of ice cream.<BR/><BR/><B>Jefe:</B> I am beating myself up mostly because I am now paying some serious consequences.<BR/><BR/>Plus, there's a feeling of many things being beyond my control. For a deeply controlling person, that can be unsettling.<BR/><BR/>And, hey, doesn't that sound like somebody that you want to date?GayProfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11289510184782252498noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-1169846814463169092007-01-26T13:26:00.000-08:002007-01-26T13:26:00.000-08:00NYE is actually my favoritist holiday, but that's ...NYE is actually my favoritist holiday, but that's because I'm an irresponsible party bitch who always manages to surround myself with appropriately troublesome people. If only I could get rid of them the rest of the year. Valentine's Day, however, blows.<BR/><BR/>I can't remember what movie it was I saw recently where some character said something like (hey, I said I can't remember!) getting older is about making peace with disappointment. I'm sure one of the pop culture fags around here will know the precise reference. In any event, it rang incredibly true to me--and I'm freaking 31! <BR/><BR/>The dirty underbelly of being driven (career or otherwise) is that we retrospectively evaluate all our choices. Did they deliver or no? But inevitably many choices don't, cuz the world is just full of unpredictable contingency. <BR/><BR/>Or predictable for that matter. Who cares? Why do we (ok, maybe just I) beat ourselves (mys... you know what I mean) up for lacking 20/20 foresight? But, sigh, 1st person(s) do. Gotta let go of that. Which is to say, gotta have better foresight about the limits of foresight. See? It's a trap! Now don't you feel better?<BR/><BR/>As for relationships, that one's easy. You want one with me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-1169830019239677242007-01-26T08:46:00.000-08:002007-01-26T08:46:00.000-08:00I like to think that periods of trial are opportun...I like to think that periods of trial are opportunities for growth. (After I think that, I drop into the drugstore for a tube of Revlon SuperLustrous Love That Pink and head straightaway to the nearest pig farm.)<BR/><BR/>And Valentine's isn't a real holiday, as you still have to work. Although it does come with lots of chocolate, so I semi-approve of its celebration.Earl Cootiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13204523494279709530noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16010478.post-1169828692671695822007-01-26T08:24:00.000-08:002007-01-26T08:24:00.000-08:00Wow Gay Prof! Good post to get me thinking about s...Wow Gay Prof! Good post to get me thinking about some deep issues. I agree that January Sucks on a very base level...but I have to hope that one day it won't suck quite so bad.Artistic Soulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13263759059325566233noreply@blogger.com