But Will You Still Love Me?

Some bloggers take themselves very seriously. For them, it becomes all about accumulating numbers and more and more comments (Okay, we all live for the comments, don’t we?). Some blogs, though, reach a point where the quest for numbers means that they post more and more. Yet, they provide less and less of what originally caught our attention in the first place (e.g. critical thinking, humor, thoughtful analysis, ass shots (depending on the blog)). Most don’t go down this road – but some lose sight of why they started blogging in the first place.

A few also develop a serious attitude. Unless you figured out a way to make your livelihood through blogging, it’s just not that deep.

Even the most popular blogs don’t have a fraction of the readers as the least popular television show has viewers. That’s right. More people in this nation could tell you what happened in NBC’s The Real Wedding Crashers than even know the meaning of the word “blog.”

If you have figured out how to make a livelihood from blogging, that’s cool. Shoot – If I thought that there was real money in this, my homepage would be PayPal. You’d need to enter your credit card number for every reference to the Mego Wonder Woman that came up. Most of us bloggers, though, aren’t adding an addendum to our tax forms because of our blogs.



Don’t get me wrong – This isn’t to say that I am knocking it. On the contrary, I really enjoy my time in the blogosphere. It’s a great place to try out ideas or swap some jokes. I have also met many cool people as a result.

Over the past week or so, though, I have felt a little tapped out for ideas. It got me to wondering about other blogs that have “jumped the shark.” You know the phrase -- The moment that a television show crossed an irretrievably bad threshold and went further and further downhill (such as Fonzie jumping a shark in an episode of Happy Days). Blogs must also have a similar life cycle.

Now I am not ready to believe it has happened to me yet. If any of the following occur, though, CoG will have officially jumped the shark:

My nephew, ScrappyProf, starts contributing to the blog.

I put out feelers in order to hire a blog tsar.

Readers who meet GayProf in real life say things like, “I thought that you would be funnier/cooler/taller.”

I wake up to find that my blog was all a dream.

Most of the bloggers from my blog-roll call it quits and are never heard from again.

I move back to Texas just so that I can keep making fun of the state. Oh, yeah -- I know that I am going to get more hate mail from Texans. Come on, people, it’s just a joke. I don’t have to live there to make fun of Texas.

I stop drinking TaB.



Somebody else is named the most desirable man on the blogosphere.

If I turn heterosexual.

People refer to new blogs as being “like The Center of Gravitas – only when it was good.”

It's revealed that GayProf is the last of the 12 Cylons.

Continued references to Liar Ex (Who Told Many Lies) make everybody uncomfortable.

Nancy Reagan comes on the blog with a special message about saying "no" to drugs.

Delusions keep me convinced that my identity is still anonymous.

“Scat” becomes the number-one Google search that brings people to The Center of Gravitas (Thanks, Torn).

Somewhere in the middle of the blog, GayProf is replaced by Dick Sargent.

An entry about “jumping the shark” is less ironic and more just sad.

I become the spokesperson for Jenny Craig.

If I ever use the following words in an entry: fitty, sitch, or rotary. Or if I ever use the words “dingo” and “baby” in the same sentence.

I am arrested for stalking Chris Evans -- again.


Bush, Jr., says that he has confidence in me. That will be a clear sign that my blog sucks and I am a major fuck-up. If he ever develops a nickname for me, I am slitting my wrists.

I make up a story about having sex with my UPS guy – hot, hot anonymous sex.

The blog includes more and more YouTube content that seems totally unrelated to the entry’s topic.



I decide to get married just so that I will have source material for the blog.

Charlton Heston discovers that the Center of Gravitas is made out of people.

I run out of Wonder Woman covers.