Friday, November 18, 2005

Wanting to Make the Cut

Shakespeare’s Sister has advocated for all good lefty bloggers to come forward and nominate themselves for Bill O’Reilly’s enemies list. I don’t want to feel left out (I wonder if I submit to peer pressure too easily), so here is my note the Fox pundit:

    Dear Mr. O’Reilly,

    Blogs are aflutter about you building an “enemies list.” It would pain me if you don’t include my little bloggy, The Center of Gravitas, on your enemies’ list.

    You see, Billy-boy – Can I call you Billy-boy? Thanks. You see, Billy-boy, I break with others who call for your termination based on your hateful declarations against San Francisco. What separates you and me, Billy-boy, is that I appreciate and value your basic rights guaranteed under the U.S. Constitution.

    What are these rights? Well, free-speech, for instance. I actually believe you have every right to spew your hateful lies and I don’t want to censor you. That would be, well, wrong. I know, you disagree. You think anyone who does not follow you should have their microphone silenced or be added to your paranoid enemies’ list. See, though, we are different again. I am much more concerned that everybody be open to listening to multiple perspectives. It is my hope that if people were actually granted more perspectives from the mainstream media, the left wouldn’t need to campaign against you. It will be much more satisfying to have low ratings end your reign of hate than any “lefty” campaign against you. I am optimist, though.

    I know you are busy making that list and coming up with ways to keep the public immobilized with fear and hate, so I won’t take much more of your time. I just want to note one other thing. San Franciscans voted their conscious against military recruiters. You see, Billy-boy, that is what we call a “democratic” decision. A government issue was put to the people, and the people voted based on their sense of ethical values. I know, you like the top-down dictator stuff. That’s your prerogative. Alas, that is also why I must be your enemy.



Roger Owen Green said...

OK, you can be Bill's enemy.

May I be Bill's enemy? I said mean things about our President on Veterans Day.

Thesaurus Rex said...

He won't get it, GP. Too nuanced. Wingnuts don't do nuance. It's all about blunt trauma.

GayProf said...

ROG (wow, your initials are convenient as they could also be a nickname): My impression of O’Reilly leads me to conclude that he has enough hate for all of us.

T-Rex: Drats! How about: Dear Bill: You Suck Shit – Love, GayProf?

Thesaurus Rex said...

T-Rex: Drats! How about: Dear Bill: You Suck Shit – Love, GayProf?

There you go. Nothing over four letters. That's speaking in terms he can understand.