J'Accuse

My fellow Americans, our nation is in a sorry state. The economy is faltering in most sectors. The housing market is in shambles. Though it received almost no media attention, the number of laid off people filing for unemployment rose again at the end of last month. Most of the nation is riddled with personal debt. There is an unending and badly managed war(s).

Yet, in the midst of all this, people like Lou Dobbs want to blame almost all of these problems on migrant workers. I figure if he can point fingers, so can I. Here are my list of people who are responsible for the sorry mess that we are in:

Voters Who Supported George W. Bush

Oh, sure, Bush’s approval ratings hit a historic low last week and that was before he commuted Scooter Libby’s prison sentence. While I am really glad that people are finally waking up to what a horrible individual Bush actually is, I am also really confused that people are surprised. It’s not like Bush concealed these things during the 2000 or 2004 campaign. If he has abused power and driven the nation to a Constitutional crisis (and he has), it's because people were dumb enough to try and give him that power in the first place.

Bush didn’t win the 2000 election. More Americans (who bothered to vote at all) voted against him than voted for him. No matter which you sliced that bad-boy up, the end result was that Bush didn’t get the popular vote and he didn’t win Florida. That’s not partisan, that’s just what happened. We didn’t get a chance to find that out, though, because the corrupt Supreme Court stepped into make sure that we didn’t get a fair election (in a 5-4 decision. Sound familiar?). When a real recount was finally done, the media largely made it a footnote because it might undermine the presidency. Yeah, funny how taking office via a bloodless coup leaves a stain of illegitimacy.



Still, in order to even make that coup plausible, Bush and his team needed a good number of people who did actually vote for him. When it came time for him to run again in 2004, I was astounded that anybody supported him. In his first term, he mismanaged wars, left the nation vulnerable to attack, pursued illegal wiretapping, and gave a pile of money to his cronies at Haliburton.

It turns out Bush voters hated other people more than they cared about their own interests (or the interests of the nation). They bought into Bush’s scare tactics about the Middle East and terrorism (ignoring the fact that Bush ran away and hid in a bunker on September 11 (yeah, there’s a guy who will keep you safe)).

Those voters also really hated the gays. Bush promised to keep harassing gays and depriving them of their rights. The mean people who voted for Bush liked that message.

Bush has lived up to his campaign promises. Read the transcripts of both elections. He never said that he would care about hurricane victims or make sure that everybody had food on the table. Instead, he said explicitly that he would keep us at war, cut taxes for the wealthy, and make sure that heterosexuals have special rights over gay people. As far as I can tell, he has done everything that people voted him to do. They seem surprised that these things didn’t make their lives better.

The State of Texas

One of the questions that I am asked most often when I meet people through the blog is, “Is Texas really that bad?” That question usually falls somewhere between, “Do you really own all those Wonder Woman comics?” (No) and “Where is Midwestern Funky Town?” (It’s where Democratic Presidents have made numerous important announcements.).

To my mind, Texas is much worse than people outside the state realize. Before I moved there, I thought that I understood Texas. Hell, I grew up in the neighboring state (which is NOTHING like Texas). Man, did I underestimate Texas and their commitment to hard-core right wing politics.



People who spend their entire lives in Texas probably have no idea how out of step they actually are with the rest of the nation/continent/world. Truth is, they don’t care, either. Whether on the Texan “left” (which is not at all left) or on the right (which is very far right), Texans won’t change course or listen to criticism even if there is solid evidence that the state is moving in the wrong direction. Texas, to them, is the best place on earth and everybody can go fuck themselves if they disagree.

Do I mean ever single person in Texas? No, obviously not. It’s a huge state with millions and millions of people. There is a diversity of opinion and perspectives there. I also have family and good friends who still live in Texas.

All the same, however, there is an atmosphere in Texas that has tacitly condoned/promoted some of the most atrocious things that have happened in this nation over the past decades. People of color have been repeatedly attacked and murdered in the state, for instance, but Texans claim that there is no problem with racism.

It’s also a bloodthirsty, vengeful state that is responsible for the most state-sponsored executions in the nation over the past decade. As I have mentioned previously, Bush’s actions in the Libby case compared to his time as governor of Texas makes me want to vomit. I don’t believe in the death penalty. For me, the death penalty confuses vengeance with justice. Murder is murder in my book.

Bush commuted Libby’s two-year prison term because it was just “too harsh.” Yet, as governor of Texas, Bush literally had the power to save 152 individual lives. Instead, he allowed the state of Texas to execute all of those men and women.

In 2000, the Chicago Tribune reported that in one-third of the cases that Bush refused to commute, the lawyer who represented the death-penalty defendant at trial or on appeal had been or was later disbarred or otherwise sanctioned. Lawyers presented no evidence at all or only one witness at the sentencing phase in 40 cases. The Tribune also uncovered evidence of a pathologist who had admitted faking autopsies. None of that, though, seemed “too harsh” to Governor Bush.

Bush further did not feel it was “too harsh” to execute a man who was mentally retarded. Nor did he think it in poor taste to make fun of one of his death-row victims. Bush is scum and, as a nation, we can blame Texas for giving him his first grab at power.

Texas wants the rest of the U.S. to be exactly like it. Turns out, they are winning, too. The Lone Star State has three of the nation’s largest cities within its borders. The rest of the nation has been asleep as Texas power has grown. Kill it now! It's weak when it's feeding! We might still have a chance!

Gluttonous Oil Companies

In the past seven years, gasoline prices have skyrocketed. While I (smugly) don’t drive in Boston, I know that the price of gas hovers over $3 in this city. Given that I will move to a place that has good, but still limited, public transport, I will resume driving soon. Even my smugness needs to come to an end.

We have never really had an explanation about this price increase. What we do know, though, is that oil companies under the Bush regime are making unprecedented fortunes.

Long term solutions to this problem should be all the things that the oil companies loathe. Why not start with a law that restricts ownership of gas guzzling trucks and suv’s to people who actually need such vehicles? If your job is transporting anvils to blacksmiths, I might understand why one would need a ginormous pickup truck. If, on the other hand, people own a gas-guzzling vehicle because they lack a decent set of testicles or ovaries, it’s time to take away their keys. Friends don’t let friends drive ball-less.

Until we make those changes, though, let’s recognize that the oil companies are screwing consumers. Out of all the economic woes in the nation, the cost of fuel is probably hurting American citizens the most. Yet, blame is evaded.

I am not one who encourages people to “judge a book by it’s cover.” Still, I would like to ask those who put so much effort and passion into keeping Mexican workers out of the nation to compare these two pictures:

One is the leader of Exxon:



And one is a Mexican worker:



Who do you really think is benefiting from current economic and social polices in the U.S.? Who do you think is taking money directly out of your personal pocket? Who do you think fed Boba Fett to the Sarlacc?

Any Person Who Has Ever Been on MTV’s My Super Sweet Sixteen – Ever

Some question why there is so much hostility to the United States among different nations in the world. Tune into any episode of My Super Sweet Sixteen and all will be clear. A more spoiled, ill-informed, self-serving group of people one will never find. Any family who consents to giving their child one of these parties should immediately forfeit their wealth and be sent to build aqueducts in the middle of a desert.



In some cases, teenagers on the show have spent over $200,000 on their little birthday parties. Sure, people are starving, but that’s no reason why Stacy can’t have a dozen stretch limos and invitations that are really engraved MP3 Players.

From what I understand (Truth in advertising: I have never been able to watch more than a few moments before becoming so disgusted that I had to switch the channel. My knowledge comes from a story in the New York Times), the end of the show culminates with the guest of honor being presented with a new car. I hate to sound old fashioned, but back in my day, we had to earn our cars. Or at least we had to give Bob Barker the accurate price for a can of peas.

People Who Don't Rack Their Weights at the Gym

Since I was in kindergarten, I have been told to pick up after myself in public spaces. Yet, time and time again I arrive at the gym to find that somebody has left all of their weights sitting on the bar. This has two major problems: 1) I don't know if the bar is free or if they have just wondered off for water and 2) I now have to shelve their weights for them.



This is a matter of national pride. If the weights aren't racked, I get frustrated. If I get frustrated, I lose interest in going to the gym. If I lose interest in going to the gym, I get fat. Because I am a symbol of the nation, this makes everybody feel bad. Chaos ensues and freedom dies.

Rack the weights.

Baroness Paula Von Gunther

Most people don’t know the name. Based on my careful research, however, I have concluded that von Gunther has a darker and more cruel soul than Dick Cheney. Well, okay, that’s an exaggeration. Dick Cheney doesn't have a soul at all.

Still, von Gunther has a long list of misdeeds. There are many unsolved murders connected with von Gunther. Plus, allegations exist that she sabotaged a cruise ship. It’s also well known that the Baroness has fomented hate and U.S. versions of the gestapo. She has even manipulated the nation’s milk supply in order to rob our citizens of their basic calcium.



Oh, sure, the Baroness claims to be “reformed.” I don’t believe it for a second!

Children

When I look around, I see one segment of society that is not at all pulling their weight: children. Quite the contrary, the nation has become obsessed with this parasitic infection of our great lands.



Wherever children go, they leave drooly and/or stinking messes. They create unbearable noise pollution. I can also attest that children are solely responsible for the nation’s problems with the sticky.

They eat and eat, but provide nothing in return. Don’t tell me how cute they are, either. We all know that is a dirty lie.

When Republicans complain about illegal immigrants taking social services, let me remind them that millions and millions of children are responsible for huge drains on our economic resources. At least as a nation we have the good sense not to offer children basic access to health care or guarantee their rights as humans. Won't somebody blame the children?

Still, those schools are awfully pricey. Get rid of the children and we will have all sorts of money to ourselves. Let’s shorten “No Child Left Behind” to “No Child.”