Friday, February 13, 2009

GayProf, The Irritated

Many have asked about this phantom post. It shows that you still care!

GayProf, irritated by some local shenanigans, hastily posted before reclaiming his zen. After spending some time meditating, I remembered, “Nothing really matters.” Never blog irritated. Besides, I become so much more mysterious and interesting this way.

In place of that silly grumble, I decided that we can talk more broadly about things that irritate me. I happen to have a running list:

    Creepy and crooked treasury secretaries who should never have been appointed, much less confirmed.

    President Obama's willful obliviousness to the fact that the American public will never trust a word coming from his creepy and crooked treasury secretary, who should never have been appointed.

    Governors who make New Mexico look bad.

    A BBC commentator who confused Arizona with New Mexico a month ago.

    That idiot who backed into my car in the garage with enough force to seriously dent my bumper, but drove away without leaving any note or even an apology.

    Waiting at the barbershop to get my haircut.

    Getting my haircut at the barbershop.

    The movie Barbershop.

    Ear hair.

    The fact that academic events are at the mercy of the football schedule at most universities.

    Dirty dishes stacked in the sink.

    People who don't know that there is an obviously right way to load a dishwasher.

    Corporate CEO’s who imagine that they should receive bonuses and fabulous vacations as a reward for running their companies into the ground.

    The refusal of a creepy and crooked treasury secretary, who should never have been appointed, to make the termination of existing CEOs a precondition of taxpayer aid.

    Republican Senators who agree to work with Democrats, but then turn out just to have intended to embarrass them.

    Democrats who overestimate Republicans’ trustworthiness.

    Republicans who continue to demand Reagan/Bush/Bush style economic policies that favor the wealthy despite ample evidence of the destructiveness of such policies.

    People who erroneously imagine that my cat desires their attention.

    People who erroneously imagine that I desire their attention.

    The remarkably cheap laptop provided by BMU that crashes if I attempt to play any music or watch any video.

    Knee-jerk recommendations to switch to Apple.

    Claims that the movie Che provides a stunning new interpretation of the titular character when, in reality, it is just four hours of watching the revolutionary walk, pause, wheeze, and then walk some more.

    The fact that U.S. movie theaters don’t serve liquor.

    Lame plot devices that turn Diana Prince into a mortal simply because she isn’t wearing star-spangled panties.

    Commercials for cleaning products that lead me to believe that flesh-eating bacteria is lurking on every surface in my home.

    My irrational fear that two British women are randomly going to show up at my door, critique my level of cleanliness, and reveal that flesh-eating bacteria is lurking on every surface in my home.

    Guests in my home who request a cocktail, but then don't drink it.

    The Bee Gees.

    The fact that, despite having mastered the Bewitched nose-twitch years ago, I still can’t get my couch to fly around the room.

    Graduate students who don’t do their work, but nonetheless have egos so sizable that they imagine themselves as junior-junior professors.

    The fact that I still mourn the loss of my Braun FlavorSelect© Coffeemaker which died after a decade of loyal service.

    My shitty Krups coffeemaker that is no replacement for the Braun FlavorSelect©.

    Peanuts contaminated with salmonella.

    Job candidates who don’t do their homework before arriving on campus and, thus, ask really obvious questions that could have been answered had they taken two-minutes to consult the department webpage.

    Heteronormative and consumer-driven Valentine’s Day.

    Accusations that I only dislike Valentine’s Day because I am single, even if it might be true.

    Wasteful construction of new buildings when architectural treasures are left abandoned and crumbling.

    The nation’s airlines.

    People who refer to Wonder Woman as “Superwoman.”

    Bloggers who retract entries only a few hours after posting them.

I’ll leave it to you to decide my level of rationality.


Alan said...

You can get beer at the MFT Theater. Srsly. But I think you have to be a member.

Heh. I said, "member". tee hee.

Roger Owen Green said...

About a 7 in rationality. (Oh, on what scale? YOU decide.)

WV: eacist - a bigot re: Electronic Arts.

GayProf said...

Alan: After the first two hors of watching Che walk, pause, wheeze, and then walk some more, I was very tempted to plunk down the money for that membership. Heck - I was willing to plunk down some money for morphine.

ROG: I am not an eacist, I just don't think Electronic Arts would fit into my neighborhood.

susurro said...

(I didn't put a message b/c I am trying not to erroneously imagine that you desire my attention.)

Anonymous said...

"Wasteful construction of new buildings while architectural treasures are left abandoned and crumbling."

I'm with you on that one.
Sounds like you've been to Detroit recently.

Chad said...

My number one peeve has been guys who show extreme romantic and sexual interest in you and then suddenly cut off all contact.

(Seriously, what was up with that?!)

dykewife said...

speaking as a grad student who is way behind on her homework, knows that she's a "junior colleague" because the department head called her that, and wants a cattle prod so walking the halls will be easier when all the undergrads are standing in her way...i'd say you're perfectly rational.

ink said...

"People who don't know that there is an obviously right way to load a dishwasher." Bravo! And I want all those hours of reorganizing my dishwasher after other people incorrectly loaded it back...

Mike said...

I find Geithner irritating for his impossible-to-spell name.

Hating the airlines is too easy. Do you think all of Minnesota and Michigan will hate Delta with the same gusto they've hated Northwest all these years?

algebear said...

"I’ll leave it to you to decide my level of rationality. "

But you can decide all on your own! Are you the ratio of two integers?

Sorry. Too much grading of math tests...

GayProf said...

Susurro: I appreciate the card. Though cash would have been nice, too.

Anon: It's sad to me that so few Americans really care about the fate of Detroit.

Chad: I dunno. Sometimes we are disappointed, and sometimes we disappoint. That's life.

DykeWife: Cattle prods should be standard issue.

Ink: It's not that hard to load a dishwasher, so why do people do it so inefficiently?

Mike: My guess is that Delta will be hated even more. When has customer service ever improved when there is a reduction in competition?

Algebear: I should of said you all could decide my level of reason. . .

Horace said...

Speaking of Governors of New Mexico, I heard recently that Val Kilmer may run next term. Given that M. Kilmer played Batman, would this create a natural, Justice-League-style affinity between Kilmer and GayProf? Or is Val just too weird?

susurro said...

lol that's what the people at outgreetings said too. ;p

Keguro said...

Switch to Apple!

Earl Cootie said...

Sorry I missed the phantom post. Those are always so interesting - moreso when they've been yanked. I've yanked a few of my own, sorry to say. Irritating, I know. But some things make sense only to the writer, and it takes posting for that truth to seep in.

Dr. No said...

If any of these things didn't bother you I would be concerned (but never blog irritated? My blog would be a vast open space if I did that).

Wow, you can do the Bewitched nose?!? I covet your nasal agility.

Antonio said...

OK, you should be sneaking your liquor into the movie theater yourself. Can you imagine the prices if movie theaters did sell them? It'd be like $12 for an airplane bottle.

I actually did the nose twitch sitting at my desk at work. I'm still here though. *sigh*

David said...

I missed the phantom post. I hope you don't assume that means I don't care.

I usually do one phantom post a week because when I start to type in "Wednesday Tent Pitch" a default of "Wed" pops up along with "Wednesday Tent Pitch" and if I'm not careful, I will hit enter and create a blank post with the header "Wed." It happens pretty regularly.

Steven said...

Now I've got some more things to add to my list. Your entry about architectural treasures probably tops my list. Your Republican comments remind me of TODAY show's interview with Carl Rove this morning. Why can't they let that man rot?

Laverne said...

I missed the phantom post too... now I'm curious.

I heard that homes are going for as little as $18,000 (Bill Maher said so) in Detroit. We are falling apart, that's for sure.

I just wish I knew what to do to fix it.

wd said...

(HUGE bear hug) ...b

inflammatory writ said...

New reader here, and really loving your writing! I loved everything about this post.

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