Pour Me Another, GayProf!

Over the next couple of weeks, I have a variety of things to celebrate. Summer school will soon end. I booked my tickets to return to Paradise Island New Mexico in early July. Time in New Mexico means that I can talk with family and do some partying with my buddy Danny.

Also, the U.S. Supreme Court acknowledged that Texas needs to fix its voting map to re-franchise Latino voters. Of course, the court did not bother to clarify if the map needed to be redrawn before November’s elections. Nor did the court really strike down gerrymandering in general. Heck, though, with this court I will celebrate any small victory.

Superman Returns also opens, which promises a minor diversion. Like many within my age bracket, the first Superman movie proved formative to my early consciousness. Indeed, I had only ever seen one other movie in the theater before Superman (Star Wars, fyi). In a highly unusual event, my father took me to see the first man-of-steel movie all by myself. Even as a very young lad, I knew that he did not particularly enjoy spending time with me one-on-one. So, having him actually take me to a movie without my sisters really stood out. It’s kind of a bitter-sweet memory thing. You know, the human-side of GayProf.

Annnyway, all that aside, my blog also recently passed the 50,000 visitor mark, which makes me celebrate as well. Blogging has been great because I have met lots of folk I would not have otherwise encountered. I love you all!

How do we celebrate such an event at the Center of Gravitas? By drinking, of course! Well, at least that is when we are not abusing pharmies instead.

When my little bloggy hit 5,000, I created the first version of the COG Drinking Game. It seemed only fair to launch the Center of Gravitas Drinking Game, 2.0 at 50,000. This time around, let’s bring out the Belvedere vodka. It will make it easier for you to ignore that, at 50,000 visitors, I also seem to be out of original ideas for this blog. Hell, by the time you finish with this game, you really won’t care or remember what blog you are reading!

Set ‘em up and take a meander through the archives and see how often you spot the following:

Take one drink for every use of the word “mediocre.”

Take one drink for every mention of my impending departure from Texas.

Take two drinks for every time that I acknowledge that there are at least some redeemable elements in Texas.

Take three drinks if you think that I am insincere in my acknowledging those redeemable elements in Texas.

Take one drink for every mention of Mr.Clean and his gay, gay ways.



Take two drinks if you know that Mr. Clean's name in Germany is "Mr. Proper."

Take one drink for every mention of Xanex.

Take two drinks if you think that I might have a dependency problem with Xanex. In my defense, though, I will point out that you are playing a drinking game based on a blog. So, if I have to get treatment, so do you.

Take one drink for each time I make allusions to New Mexico being the Land of Enchantment.

Take two drinks if you think this blog is secretly financed by New Mexico’s Tourism and Publicity Office.

Take two drinks for every appearance of the phrase “progress towards tenure.”

Take one drink for every complaint about teaching summer school.

Take three drinks for every time that I mention a slightly disturbing fantasy involving queer sailors.



Take one drink for every reference to César Chávez.

Take three drinks for any entry with the words “Job Search” in the title.

Take one drink for every time I make reference to my liar ex and the many lies he told.

Take two drinks if you think that I make reference to my liar ex (who told many lies) just a bit too much at this point.

Take three drinks for every time that either Flash and/or Green Lantern appear on a comic cover with Wonder Woman.

Take one drink for every time that I mention watching vintage gay porn is allegedly part of my job -- allegedly.



Take one drink for every mention of a penis or slang that refers to a penis.

Take two drinks for every mention of a vagina (I can’t be certain, but I don’t think that I ever use slang for vaginas).

Take one drink each time that I declare myself the most desirable man on the blogosphere.

Take two drinks if you think that I really am the most desirable man on the blogosphere.

Take one drink for each time that I base my adult-life decisions on lessons learned from a 1970s television show (like Charlie’s Angels).

Take two drinks if it seems like I am having a hard time distinguishing between myself and Diana Prince.

Take two drinks for each time my sidebar indicated that I stalked a dead man.

Take one drink for every time I post a picture of me for seemingly no reason.

Take two drinks for every picture of me that has appeared on this blog more than once (I actually have basically three digital pictures of me total that I just keep recycling).

Take three drinks if you have yet to see my picture and think that I really do look like Wonder Woman in real life.

Take three drinks for every time I lust after some muscle car.



Take one drink each time that I hear voices in my head.

Take two drinks if you now hear voices in your head.

Super Bonus Round: Fragments of obscure song lyrics still hide in many of my entries. To this date, only Gay Erasmus has ever called me on it in the comments. When you find those lyrics, you can drink however-the-hell much that you want to drink.

Remember, after playing this game, drink two full glasses of water and take two asprin before going to bed. Never, ever, blog and drive.