Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Random Randomness

Here are some random thoughts that I have had this week:

    After a long and tedious day at work, nothing cheers a young queer man quite so much as watching a men’s diving competition on television.

    Being queer places one in a peculiar position of both desiring certain bodies and being envious of those same bodies. Hetero men desire women’s bodies, but it doesn’t seem that the majority want their own bodies to develop the same breasts.

    It’s a bummer that Oreo cookies are so toxic and fattening.

    The profound and overly emotional investment that some people have in either Obama or Clinton makes me uncomfortable (and leery). I thought that we all understood that politicians were a necessary evil. They aren’t people that you want in your house.

    Luckily, nobody seems to have similar enthusiasm for the scummy, two-faced McCain.

    Some devoted CoG reader should really create a GayProf comic book that involves me wearing the outfit in my profile picture.

    I can’t believe that my family used to construe Crisco as the healthy alternative to lard.

    Beyond being incredibly annoying, Day Light Saving seems like a dubious proposition. I want some critical evidence (not speculation or theories) that it does anything for energy conservation.

    Mary Ann’s recent arrest for possession of marijuana explains how she tolerated Gilligan’s annoying ass for all those years. If I was stuck on that island, I would be addicted to heroine by now.

    Mentioning to your colleagues that you worked as a secretary before going to grad school can result in being “volunteered” to do lots of paperwork.

    I miss the show Can’t Get a Date. It made my own dating strategies seem so reasonable.

    A few days ago I didn’t buy gas because I figured that prices could only go down from $3.15/gallon. Today, gas is $3.26/gallon in MFT.

    The cost of living in MFT, overall, is really outrageous given the size of the town.

    Teaching grad students requires one to constantly give reassurance and hand holding – which is inconvenient, because I want reassurance and hand holding.

    Xtube is not really that erotic, but it is filled with fascinating clips of people doing unexpected things.

    Martha Jones is an infinitely more interesting character than Rose Tyler. So why spend a year plus mourning the loss of the latter?

    Some academics deeply desire purely bureaucratic (and often thankless) jobs because they come with a title and give an illusion of power. One would expect people with Ph.D.’s to be smarter than that.

    I am so relieved that the most recent political “sex scandal” involves the heteros for a change. No “wide stances in the toilet.” No “therapeutic massages” or crystal meth. At last, the heteros will be exposed to the same media scrutiny and speculation that we have endured.


Charlotte said...

Long time lurker, but after reading this post, I felt the need to tell you that I heart you. Your random thoughts and my random thoughts seem to be related.

Maria said...

dear gayprof --

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WANT SOMEONE TO HOLD MY HAND. my advisor has been luring out from under my desk with a combination of expensive tea and cookies.

seriously tho, do you read PHD Comics (http://www.phdcomics.com/comics.php)? i annoy my advisor a lot less when i read that, because it's sort of a reality check.

Roger Green said...

You ARE addicted to heroine - Wonder Woman. What you meant to write was heroin, I think.

David said...

What is a merman doing climbing a mountain?

I feel the same way about X-tube. Probably why it's free.

Not sure I know who either Martha Jones or Rose Tyler is.

Anonymous said...

I think there are some heterosexual men who want breasts. They'd be more visible if we (not you and me, GayProf, just we in general) didn't conflate gender identity and sexual orientation so indiscriminately.

Anonymous said...

Meant to add that I find giving reassurance and hand-holding can be reassuring in itself, at least if it's just a generalized anxiety/stress thing.
Sounds kind of platitudinous now that I type it, but it's a fact.
Sorry to clutter up your comments page, GP!

adjunct whore said...

i want hand-holding too and you don't get it anymore once a dr.

but then, do you think there is some correspondence between those people who didn't require lots of hand-holding and finishing?

just wondering. my institution did not hand-hold.

about democrats: you are of course right. but you don't have any ick factor about the clintons, i mean, the machine that it is?

Alan said...

Unrelated, but have you seen the new JLA movie? Not bad, but Wonder Woman is only in it for like 5 minutes, then the boys go and kick butt.

"Teaching grad students requires one to constantly give reassurance and hand holding – which is inconvenient, because I want reassurance and hand holding."

You must know some very strange graduate students. Maybe things are different in the humanities.

Doug said...

It's strange that people never questioned my in-depth knowledge of men's diving when I was younger.

Earl Cootie said...

I'm just disappointed that the current political sex scandal has to be on the Dem side. I did like the monopoly the Republicans were running on that one. Why does it have to be someone from our side?

And then I remember that if there are "sides", it's politicians vs. people. (And then I think, "People are just as stupid as politicians," which leads me to "I'm stupid too!" which makes me wish I'd stayed in my hole in the first place - it's warm and cozy in here. And earthworms, yum!)

Dorian said...

Martha has been appearing on Torchwood lately. Freema Agyeman and John Barrowman on screen again...it was wonderful.

And while we finally have had another political sex scandal, and yes it's a Dem one, and yes it's a hetero one, it's still largely...dull in comparison to the other sex scandals of late. Where are the midnight text messages to underage boys, the diapers, the surprisingly good looking cops? He hired a hooker? Big deal. If Spitzer tried to force a former Star Trek cast member to have sex with strangers in an S&M club, I might be bothered to care.

Anonymous said...

I have been thinking about the bodies thing for a while now. Also agreed on the political oddness that is going on -- I actually fear it is a divisive tool that will dismantle the democratic party yet again in this election. And totally with you on the gas issue. I did the exact same thing before heading out of town for spring break, and am shocked to return, kicking myself for not filling up before I left!

Antonio said...

"Being queer places one in a peculiar position of both desiring certain bodies and being envious of those same bodies. Hetero men desire women’s bodies, but it doesn’t seem that the majority want their own bodies to develop the same breasts."

I definitely find this to be true. I have to remind myself that attaining the bodies of many of those people require an absurd dedication to working out and in probably injesting questionable substances. I wonder how true this is for lesbians though.

GayProf said...

Charlotte: Don't be a lurker, be a stalker!

Maria: Thanks for the link -- The comics seem to speak to a good number of our circumstances.

ROG: I did mean heroin, but in retrospect heroine does seem more appropriate.

David: Oh, that merman shows up in the most unexpected places.

Anon: Right, there are a minority of hetero men who also want their bodies to look like the bodies they desire (which is why I specifically said "majority" of straight men). It would be interesting to hear more from that minority.

Adjunct Whore: do you think there is some correspondence between those people who didn't require lots of hand-holding and finishing?

I don't know ... My own grad program was more of a boot camp. I saw lots of people drop out before they even got past course work.

As for Clinton/Obama, my general feeling has always been that Clinton will betray us in the ways that we already know. Obama will betray us in unexpected and new ways.

Alan: I just watched the JLA: New Frontier. Obviously it needed more WW content (as did the original comic); however, Lucy Lawless as the voice of WW was a long-overdue choice.

Doug: I really think that Divers have the idealized male body for my tastes.

Earl: My hole has a little trap door from which I can spring and eat unsuspecting prey.

Dorian: Yeah, it's been good to see Martha on Torchwood. It's just a bummer that she has to go to "guest-star" status on either show.

WiccaChicky: The Democratic Party is its own worst enemy.

Antonio: The other thing that I tell myself to feel better is that those bodies are impossible to maintain. At some point, those guys are going to have to stop working out and then their bodies are going to revert back to what everybody else has.

Greg said...

You know, on Diana, the "wonder thong" just looks cheap...but on you, GayProf, ooh, la la...I'll try to put together a proposal for your comic book.

I just love you and your random thoughts...


Anonymous said...

Your profound observations on the nuances of Xtube seem to suggest why Gayprof hasn't had as much free time for blogging lately...

Although I will say that between the two, I find men's diving to be much more erotic.

tornwordo said...

I love the comic.

And I'm so with you on the politics, doesn't everyone know the prerequisite for becoming a successful politician is being a scumbag?

Anonymous said...

Speaking as someone who thought Rose Tyler was one of the better companions, I have to say that Martha Jones is underappreciated.

The parade of shamed politicians in the US reminds me that us Brits haven't had one in a while. I feel deprived. By the way, good call on saying that politicians are a necessary evil; it's exactly how I feel.

prof bw said...

I put your thing about the candidates as my best quote this week. It is too true . . .

the boys and I do a regular wed. queer movie night and some people do maintain those bodies far longer than I would have expected as we discovered when trying to figure out where we had seen "that old guy" before.

I can't speak for other women, but the bodies I desire do not reflect the body that I want to/do inhabit; it's quite the opposite. I actually think straight girls are more envious of female bodies but again I'm just one person thinking outloud.

Martha will only be on Torchwood for 3 episodes and then she just disappears, no send off or anything as I recall. She will share Dr. Who with Rose and one other woman next season. I wrote a lot of posts about this because it . . . ugh.

Anonymous said...

I myself can remember the day Greg Louganis hit his head on the diving board in Seoul...Ouch!

I don't think that the fervor for the democratic candidates is any greater than previous years. It's just taking A LOT longer to determine who that candidate for the party will be. I just hope it doesn't get to the point where one can be nominated to the DNC because how close it has been. And watch what you say about my friend George McCain. Or is that John? ;-)

I so love that new avatar of you. It gets the primaries out of my mind.

And it was Thurston Hough who supported MaryAnne's terrible habit. Where did "Master" ever come from anyway?

Every time I heard the governor speak, I could have sworn it was Ted Kennedy until I turned to look at the screen. Thanks for your tidbits, today, CoG!

Steven (Dorothy's friend)

Frank said...

Damnit, Roger Green stole my joke!

Anonymous said...

Rose Tyler was an everyman that anyone can relate too, and therefore anyone can hang with the Doctor. Martha Jones is a bit more rarified as an M.D., and harder to relate too.

dykewife said...

i discovered that i can get a bursary of $30,000 to study in the usa. i wonder if i should do a phd in mft. then we could get together, sip wine (though mine will be sparkling apple juice) and eat chocolate wafers because they're not toxic and go great with wine and sparkling apple juice.

did you see that i'm official? all i have to do is pass my classes this term and i'll be mastering sociology.

Alan Scott said...

Long before I entered graduate school for my doctoral degree, I had questioned the wisdom of getting a Ph.D. At that point, all of the professors with Ph.D.s had either God-complexes or were socially castrated. Now, almost 6 years later, I find out that I'm right!
I've found out that my Ph.D. looks good on paper only and that "Dr." in front of my name is great for making restaurant reservations.
No, Ph.D.'s are not smart at all, gayprof.

Kevin said...

Anyone who has watched The Wire knows how even well meaning politicians get caught up in the system fairly quickly. I think the key is picking a candidate that'll be best suited (and clever enough) to navigate that system with the least amount of corruption, but you should always be cynical towards your candidate.

That's why I back Hillary, BECAUSE she's an underhanded bitch. I know what I'm getting.

Nice blog btw, I followed you here through a link referral. I'm a queer latino, but no professor.

Laverne said...

I much prefer Torchwood to Dr. Who, and you are to blame. Yes, you, Gayprof. You posted a clip from Torchwood a while back; the Jack and Jack kiss... and I was hooked.

I can't stand to miss the show now. I haven't been this glued to a show since Buffy.

God, I am a nerd.

I love your random thoughts.

Daddy Cool said...

I adore Martha Jones. Rose should have been a distant memory as soon as she came sassing onto the show. At least we have MJ on Torchwood... for now.

Sisyphus said...

I saw this article and thought of you:


Only a very short Wonder Woman reference in it though.

Justin Cognito said...

If it makes you feel better, Prof, Martha's supposed to become a regular on Torchwood starting Season 3. Of course, Captain Jack becomes a recurring character for some reason, but hey.

bardelf said...

I heard of Mary Ann's arrest. I also remember that Gilligan (Bob Denver) was arrested numerous times for possession of marijuana. One can only imagine the fun times the castaways had on the island! Can you imagine Mrs. Howell high as a kite?

I would pay top dollar, gayprof, to see you wearing (in real life) that Super Hero costume!