Monday, December 05, 2005

Fun with the Center of Gravitas

While away on my interview, my blog had its 5,000th visitor. For many bloggers, I know that is small potatoes. For me, though, I feel like frickin’ Edward R. Murrow if even two readers visit my blog.

As a thanks to all who have stopped by my little bloggy, I devised a drinking game for the Center of Gravitas. Not that you need to drink to read my blog, but, hey, it doesn’t hurt.

Don’t drink liquor? No problem! This game works with pills as well.

So, bring out the Patrón Tequila and take a meander through the archives to see how often the following occur:

    Take one drink for every Golden Age Wonder Woman Cover.

    Take two drinks for every Bronze Age Wonder Woman Cover.

    Take a drink if you know the difference between Golden and Bronze Age Wonder Woman (You big Geek, I love you).

    Take one drink for every time GayProf uses the word “dubious.”

    Take one drink for every time GayProf refers to himself in the third person.

    Take two drinks for every time GayProf refers to himself as a minor deity.

    Take one drink for every mention of Anderson Cooper.

    Take two drinks for every mention of Anderson Cooper being in the closet.

    Take three drinks for every mention of Cydney Bernard.

    Take four drinks for every mention of racism, sexism, or homophobia on GayProf’s campus (For this one, the number of drinks is merely to dull the pain, not an indication of infrequent mentions in the blog).

    Take two drinks every time GayProf threatens to wear Star-Spangled panties.

    Take one drink if you just conjured an image of GayProf wearing Star-Spangled panties. You deserve it.

    Take one drink every time GayProf whines about Futurama's cancellation.

    Take two drinks if you miss Futurama (You big Geek, I really, really love you).

    Take three drinks for every entry with zero comments (because that just makes me sad).

    Take one drink for every television reference.

    Take two drinks for every time that GayProf admits to watching a t.v. show simply because some hunky male actor happens to star in it.

    Take five drinks for every arcane historical reference.

    Take four drinks for every time GayProf mentions the tenure process. Take an extra drink on GayProf’s behalf.

    Take two drinks for every time GayProf promises to “be more positive” on his blog.

    Take one drink for every time that a negative post follows a promise to be more positive.

    Take one drink for every mention of the evils of Texas.

    Take two drinks for every time GayProf notes that he is blogging instead of working and/or grading.

    Take a drink if you don’t yet have alcohol poisoning.

SUPER BONUS ROUND: Fragments of obscure song lyrics hide within many of my blog entries. Take the whole bottle if you can find them.


Adam said...

Congrats on 5000 visitors my friend.

Is that silver tequila good for sipping. I've wanted to try to learn to appreciate tequila but I want my first experience to be a good one.

Helen the Felon said...

You had me at "pills."

Kiss My Mike said...

With all the drinking, I need to get some nachos for appetizer!

GayProf said...


Tequila can make an excellent sipping drink. In terms of brands, I like Patrón or El Jimador. My knowledge isn't that great, but I can offer what I know.

If you are new to the tequila world, you will want to think a bit about the type of tequila you are buying, not just brand. The terminology also is counterintuitive. Each major distiller usually makes all of the following, so experiment around.

“Blanco,” “Silver,” “White,” or “Blue” Tequila are all different terms for the same type of tequila. These are usually bottled immediately after distilling. It is going to have the strongest agave flavor, so it might take a bit of adjustment if new to tequila by itself. It can also be used for cocktails.

“Reposado” Tequila is probably what you want for your first forays into Tequila as a sipping-drink. Reposado means that the tequila has been aged (rested) a bit before being bottled. It has a somewhat more mild flavor as the agave has been mellowed by time.

“Oro” or “Gold” Tequila has some additional ingredients that make it "gold" (What? I have no idea). You probably only want this if you are mixing cocktails.

“Añejo” or “Aged” Tequila has rested for at least a year. Because of its time in wood barrels, it tends have oak flavors.

Also, give some respect to the Margarita while you are at it. It has gotten a bad reputation because of bastardized concoctions involving bizarre fruits. I have even been to bars that offer “Margaritas” that don’t have any tequila at all. Avoid these drinks. Especially Margaritas that the silly frat-boys drink, which usually come out of a slurpee machine. (All Frozen Margaritas are sacrilege, IMHO).

There is only one REAL Margarita, and that is made with lime juice, Cointreau (or equivalent), and Tequila. Find a bartender who knows what he is doing. It is simple and elegant. The Margarita has been the most popular cocktail for the past hundred years for a reason.

Gee, maybe I should have made that its own blog entry.


I will have to wait to give a similar exploration of the many pharmaceutical options, but much of the above still applies (Look for pills that are Reposado, Añejo, etc).