Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Tough Questions for the Amazon


We all know that I sometimes confuse myself with worship the Amazon Princess. Yet, there are a few things that always troubled me about her. I know I am not the first one to question these things, but sometimes you just have to know. These are questions that Diana needs to answer:

    Wonder Civics: Okay, you like to “fight for your rights and the good ol’ red, white and blue in your satin tights.” What troubles me, though, is why, as a princess next in the line of succession in an absolute monarchy, you claim to care about democratic governments. So, democracy is fine for man’s world and mortals, but the Amazons need strict rules and hierarchy? Amazon sisters, rebel against your cruel oppressors. End Queen Hippolyta’s two-thousand-year reign of terror. You have nothing to lose but your bullet-deflecting shackles.


    This is what you wear to fight crime:

    This is what you wear when you go swimming:


    Diana, it seems like you might be a bit confused about appropriate attire. Not that I am complaining about your red, white and blue playboy-bunny suit. Believe, I am also not one of those people who is going to whine about you wearing six-inch heels. Sure you risk breaking an ankle running and jumping, but at what price fashion? It is just that usually we wear less clothing in the water than out. Just a hint, Diana.

    While we are talking about your outfit, why change the eagle on your bustier to the WW? The eagle made sense. The eagle went with the general patriotic fervor of the whole outfit.

    Okay, I understand you are not really a U.S. citizen. But, then why keep the star-spangled panties?

    The WW seems to bare an uncanny resemblance to the following images:

    VanHalen Symbol – Did you find a penchant for eighties hair bands?

    Whataburger symbol – Do you secretly gorge on greasy mystery meat patties?

These are the mysteries of an icon. . .

Too geeky of an entry? Hey, it's almost the holidays, cut me some slack.

4 comments:

OphidianCalm@gmail.com said...

Stumbled on your log. I think it's fab.

This post was very funny. Reminded me of when I took "How to Be Gay" at Univ. of Mich. We had a presentation from a straight girl (18 years old) discussing the finer points of Wonder Woman the TV show. She noted a fondness for clips of Wonder Woman being bound and gagged.

I felt very queer explaining the metal in her bracelets (femininium (sp?)), how her lasso worked, the men in her life, etc. I hadn't watched the show in 17+ years.

Cheers!

GayProf said...

Hail, Amazon Sister. Thanks for stopping by my little bloggy.

I need to sign up for that "How to be Gay" class! My gayness has become a bit rusty.

Gay Erasmus said...

Hehe, nice one. I'm still stressed about the change of actress concerning Diana's mother on the TV show. The studio had no problem with the switchover, but it always made me wonder: since when was Morticia Addams Queen Hippolyta??

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