Monday, March 27, 2006

Blog Love

Though I still think of myself as new to the blogsphere, I have noticed a trend when I find a new blog. Like any relationship, there are cycles and a flow to blog love. Yes, there are many stages for the blog readers:

Stage One: Flirting

This is the stage when you first find the new blog. Probably you noticed a new link on a reliable site. Or maybe you happened across the site by accident. Whatever the case, you like what you see. The most recent entry makes you think and chuckle a bit. You add a bookmark to your browser and plan to return the next day. You leave comments on every new post, hoping the author will look at your blog.

Things you might say at this stage:

    That’s a tight entry – I wish I had wrote it.

    I wonder why I never came across this before now.

    Look at me! Look at me!

    Oh, I hope they like my blog.

    Maybe my therapist is right. Maybe I do need friends who aren’t on the internet.


Stage Two: Infatuation

It’s all chemistry and obsession at this stage. You religiously check back at this site every hour to see if it has been updated. Every new entry on their blog seems like gold.When you write an entry, you hope that the other blog author will agree with you.

You stay up way too late methodically going through every month in the archive. This is not so much to read the past posts, but to find pictures of the blog author.

Things that you might say at this stage:

    This is the best blog I have ever read, EVER!

    I have fallen in love for the first time and this time I know it's for real!

    I already have the bridesmaids dresses picked out. My colors are blush and bashful.

    I wonder if they noticed me watching them from the bushes.


Stage Three: Marriage (Never Monogamous)

At this point, you have a committed relationship with the other blog author. There is a link to their blog on yours and vice versa. Each of you exchange comments and maybe an e-mail or two. You know the other blog author’s writing patterns and can predict when a new entry will appear.

Things you might say at this stage:

    I wish I could meet this blogger in person.

    I can’t wait until their next post.

    Is it possible to have sex via blogs?

    This is much more satisfying than actually finding a steady boyfriend.


Stage Four: Doubt

Now that you have the mutual links, second thoughts start to haunt you. Their last entry didn’t really inspire you. What if this blogger isn’t as cool as you thought? There are some things in the blog that make you wonder if they really think like you do after all. At this point, you start to wonder about other blogs that might be out there.

Things you might say at this stage:

    Eh -- It’s an okay blog.

    Why does that blog spend all its time with its loser friends? Can’t they get a job?

    When are they ever going to fix all those broken links? It’s driving me nuts.

    Didn’t somebody write a post just like that two months ago?

    I can’t believe that blog just drank all the milk and put the empty carton back in the fridge.


Stage Five: Stability

The doubts have passed. For every great entry, there are three fluffy ones (kinda like this one). That’s okay. Each of you comments on the other blog, but not every post. Still, you value their companionship and insight.

Things you might say at this stage:

    What a nice blogger, I am glad that we encountered each other.

    I look forward to the next post – if there is nothing better on television.

    What was the name of that all-gay-man porno site I found the other day?

    I wonder what sunlight feels like on my skin.

19 comments:

Oso Raro said...

Rolling on the floor laughing, girl! So true, but I hope you weren't talking about OUR love affair! I'm still your BESTEST blogosphere girlfriend, unless you've moved on (who's the bitch!?!).

tornwordo said...

Aw, that was a nice homage to the blogging experience. And I loved this line:

Is it possible to have sex via blogs?

So true, so true.

Gay Erasmus said...

Ha! I love you, too.

Reluctant Nomad said...

*flutters eyelashes & bats eyelids*

Sandouri Dean Bey said...

what a tight entry- i wish i had written it.

!

seriously, that was brilliant. when you get right down to it, aren't we all looking for validation of some kind?

Earl Cootie said...

I think I almost prefer non-reciprocal (or unrequited?) blog links. Then I don't have to suffer through all the recrimination, bitterness and self-doubt if his blog breaks up with mine.

MEK the Bear said...

Thankfully you and I GayProf have found our stability, and I too wonder what the sun feels like.

(cue: "I Remember" from Evening Primrose and apologize for obscure Sondheim reference)

I do worry however, that you know far too much about stalking sometimes. I'm just saying!

Hmmm, speaking of stalking...there's a guy outside my window staring right at me that looks a lot like you, but it couldn't be, he's clean shaven. Hmm, I wonder who he is?

GayProf said...

MEK: Yeah, I might take the stalker humor too far. Remember kids, stalking is a serious felony crime.

Now, MEK, could you turn to your left a bit and maybe unbutton your shirt?

Earth-2 Leigh said...

I seldom get past the 'add a link, bookmark it, read it every day, and never ever comment' stage.

And what is this sun... light?

Frank said...

I like to think we're at the stability stage, but retain the ardorous passion of the infatuation stage, as well.

Roger Owen Green said...

Your the bestest blog!

Seriously, I've even CITED you. (And you, me.) What does THAT mean?

Keguro said...

I made the blogroll, linked to this post, and recommended it to the Kenyan blogosphere.

I think this translates into I'm casting shy glances across a crowded room, though not quite sure what I'm seeing as I'm myopic.

Anonymous said...

Gay Prof-

I love your blog but have never left a comment! But you should totally check this out, given your thing for, uh, porn: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1176976,00.html

Best,
Lezzie Grad Student

GayProf said...

LezzieGradStudent: Hail, Amazon Sister!

Thanks for the link and reading my little bloggy. I often debate about showing porn in my History of Sex and Sexuality class. Not surprisingly given its me, we look at a great deal of popular culture stuff. Alas, I have demurred at showing actual XXX films – for now. Maybe after tenure... Or maybe the next time I teach the class...

Brian said...

Whaddya mean NEVER monogamous?

Wayne said...

Aw don't worry Gay Prof. We love all your posts. Even the fluffy ones.

bitchphd said...

What a nice blogger. I'm glad to have encountered you (through Oso Raro, btw).

WM said...

LMAO!
Despite the predicted rather short-term of our blog association writing romance, I was very glad indeed to see that I was not the only one who was left draping dots like a cloak.....like Barbara Cartland behind them in the wake of the Namibia, uh, event, or indeed, exclamation marks, which I do not believe I have ever had occasion to use in multiple groups of three before. Also, I very much admire the number of your question marks, as I was propelled to similar heights myself, by the situation....!!!!????

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