I don’t have much new to add that hasn’t been said by other blog folk. Let’s recount (no pun intended) the good events of yesterday and today, shall we?
Rick “Frothy Mixture of Cum, Lube and Fecal Matter” Santorum lost his Senate seat. A man driven by hate, he often became the poster boy for young Republicans. Now, though, he will have more time to fulfill his goal of fathering his own army. How man kids does this guy have? Jesus, Rick, wear a condom, would you?
Nancy “San-Francisco Liberal” Pelosi will become the first woman Speaker of the House in the history of the United States. Of course, only around 70 women currently serve in the House out of 435 (representing about 16 percent of the total). This is shocking given that women are roughly 50 percent of the total U.S. population. Ooops – See? I do have trouble keeping the gravitas in check.
Donald “Talking-Tree-From-Wizard-of-Oz” Rumsfeld loses his job. Hopefully Rumsfeld will see this as a chance to spend some quality time whittling.
Arizona “The State that Gave Us Crazy-Ass Barry Goldwater” voted against a proposed ban on gay marriage. It infuriates me that the rights of a minority would be left to the decisions and whims of the majority. Still, the good people of the Grand Canyon State reject bigotry and fear. Go on with your bad self, Arizona. Have a Cosmo on me.
Deval “I Once Worked for Bill Clinton” Patrick became the first African-American governor of Massachusetts. Much to my chagrin, though, Massachusetts voters mysteriously rejected a proposal that would have allowed grocery stores to sell liquor. Damn you, Massachusetts.
Robert “President of that Bonfire University” Gates will likely become the next Secretary of Defense. While his politics often leave me cold and his tenure at the CIA made me nervous, I will say that Gates always struck me as a reasonable guy, at least as a university president. He is not rash nor filled with ego. Perhaps he can bring a touch of sanity to an impossible situation in Iraq.
Electronic “I Eat Ballots” Voting Machines showed themselves to be so unreliable that even Republicans complained about them. We might actually get momentum to return to actual paper records. Canada does it, why can't we?
New “Land of Enchantment” Mexico retained its Democratic Governor and Senator. Sadly, the House District One race is still too close to call. **Sigh** Don’t disappoint me, New Mexico. Think of our way of life!
Dennis “The Hutt” Hastert will no longer have a prominent position in the House. After his reign as Speaker, I think we should start imposing weight-limits on political figures. If you weigh more than a baby Steinway, no leadership role for you. How could he get any work done when at least 60 percent of his day must have gone to eating?
The Democratic “We are the Actual Compassionate Conservatives” Party now controls the House and might control the Senate. Under the U.S. Constitution (which, I recognize, we rarely bother to look at any more), the Congress should be the most powerful arm of the government. If the Democrats in Congress really wanted to do so, they could actually govern the nation. I am not saying that we will see an Andrew-Johnson era of Congressional power flexing, but it would be nice.
Georgie “The Most Hated President in History” Bush got a pimp-slap from the American People. We did it with our ring-hand, too. When Bushie claimed to be a “uniter,” who knew that his tactics would involve getting a combination of left and right forces together in their mutual contempt for him?
Karl “Why Aren’t I in Jail?” Rove will no longer be given the title of political genius. Indeed, his usual tactics of using hate, especially of queer folk, failed horribly to deliver the GOP a win.
South “Do People Actually Live in This State?” Dakota rejected a sleazy attempt to restrict a woman’s right to choose. They also saw through right-wing attempts to highjack and manipulate the left’s language about women’s self-determination and access to healthcare.
All of this makes GayProf a bit more content. Well, at least until I am declared Queer Guardian of the Nation.