Tuesday, April 24, 2007

But Will You Still Love Me?

Some bloggers take themselves very seriously. For them, it becomes all about accumulating numbers and more and more comments (Okay, we all live for the comments, don’t we?). Some blogs, though, reach a point where the quest for numbers means that they post more and more. Yet, they provide less and less of what originally caught our attention in the first place (e.g. critical thinking, humor, thoughtful analysis, ass shots (depending on the blog)). Most don’t go down this road – but some lose sight of why they started blogging in the first place.

A few also develop a serious attitude. Unless you figured out a way to make your livelihood through blogging, it’s just not that deep.

Even the most popular blogs don’t have a fraction of the readers as the least popular television show has viewers. That’s right. More people in this nation could tell you what happened in NBC’s The Real Wedding Crashers than even know the meaning of the word “blog.”

If you have figured out how to make a livelihood from blogging, that’s cool. Shoot – If I thought that there was real money in this, my homepage would be PayPal. You’d need to enter your credit card number for every reference to the Mego Wonder Woman that came up. Most of us bloggers, though, aren’t adding an addendum to our tax forms because of our blogs.

Don’t get me wrong – This isn’t to say that I am knocking it. On the contrary, I really enjoy my time in the blogosphere. It’s a great place to try out ideas or swap some jokes. I have also met many cool people as a result.

Over the past week or so, though, I have felt a little tapped out for ideas. It got me to wondering about other blogs that have “jumped the shark.” You know the phrase -- The moment that a television show crossed an irretrievably bad threshold and went further and further downhill (such as Fonzie jumping a shark in an episode of Happy Days). Blogs must also have a similar life cycle.

Now I am not ready to believe it has happened to me yet. If any of the following occur, though, CoG will have officially jumped the shark:

    My nephew, ScrappyProf, starts contributing to the blog.

    I put out feelers in order to hire a blog tsar.

    Readers who meet GayProf in real life say things like, “I thought that you would be funnier/cooler/taller.”

    I wake up to find that my blog was all a dream.

    Most of the bloggers from my blog-roll call it quits and are never heard from again.

    I move back to Texas just so that I can keep making fun of the state. Oh, yeah -- I know that I am going to get more hate mail from Texans. Come on, people, it’s just a joke. I don’t have to live there to make fun of Texas.

    I stop drinking TaB.

    Somebody else is named the most desirable man on the blogosphere.

    If I turn heterosexual.

    People refer to new blogs as being “like The Center of Gravitas – only when it was good.”

    It's revealed that GayProf is the last of the 12 Cylons.

    Continued references to Liar Ex (Who Told Many Lies) make everybody uncomfortable.

    Nancy Reagan comes on the blog with a special message about saying "no" to drugs.

    Delusions keep me convinced that my identity is still anonymous.

    “Scat” becomes the number-one Google search that brings people to The Center of Gravitas (Thanks, Torn).

    Somewhere in the middle of the blog, GayProf is replaced by Dick Sargent.

    An entry about “jumping the shark” is less ironic and more just sad.

    I become the spokesperson for Jenny Craig.

    If I ever use the following words in an entry: fitty, sitch, or rotary. Or if I ever use the words “dingo” and “baby” in the same sentence.

    I am arrested for stalking Chris Evans -- again.

    Bush, Jr., says that he has confidence in me. That will be a clear sign that my blog sucks and I am a major fuck-up. If he ever develops a nickname for me, I am slitting my wrists.

    I make up a story about having sex with my UPS guy – hot, hot anonymous sex.

    The blog includes more and more YouTube content that seems totally unrelated to the entry’s topic.

    I decide to get married just so that I will have source material for the blog.

    Charlton Heston discovers that the Center of Gravitas is made out of people.

    I run out of Wonder Woman covers.


Marius said...

As they say, all good things must come to an end. I'm sure you still have long way to go. I was wondering; where in Texas did you live? If I had to guess, I’d say the DFW area (or Houston). It can’t possibly be Austin, because Austin is a great city. People who live there usually can't stop saying positive things about the city and the people.

tornwordo said...

I hope you don't leave. And I hope the number one search is not scat. I would think it would be wonder woman, lol.

marlan said...

I hope you hang on, at least until I hear your take on the big huge university in the midwest after living there for a while.

vuboq said...

OMG! My blog has jumped the shark. So. Very. Sad.

I'm sure your blog never will though. And, I've heard through the grapevine that you are actually funnier/cooler/taller in person.

Anonymous said...

Hey you forgot:
"Finally bringing resolution to the running foreplay to which the audience had been constantly exposed, GayProf and the Liar Ex (Who Told Many Lies) 'do it'."

And of course.

"Ted McGinley joins the cast of CoG"

Huntington said...

For me, it would be the replacement on your blog of Charlotte Rae with Cloris Leachman. I would wail and gnash my teeth then.

Roger Green said...

ScrappyProf: I nearly did a spit take.

But they MAY stop making TaB, so I hope your shark jumping has nothing to do with that.

Without revealing, Darius, GP did live in the true armpit of TX. I have a (female hetero) friend who DESPISED the place.

Bill S. said...

How about reformatting your blog into The GayProf Variety Hour?

Actually, that would be interesting.

GayProf said...

Marius: I did not live in an urban area -- I also lived in one of the most conservative places in the state. Still, Austin didn't impress me much. I think that I would rather live in Houston, to be honest (and that's not saying much).

The only area in Texas that really interests me is the lower Rio Grande Valley.

Torn: Scat is making huge leaps and bounds in my search history.

Marlan: I am sure that I can hang on for another six months -- maybe.

V.U.B.O.Q.: I am 5'11". Yet, people always imagine that I am shorter than that when they meet me. I attribute it to my impish personality.

Atari: That's not so much foreplay as pure-burning hatred.

Oh, poor Ted. I did think he was hot when he was on the Love Boat, though.

Huntington: I almost made this reference -- And also one about my best friends moving to New York and San Francisco to start their own blogs.

ROG: Your friend is wise.

Bill S.: Celebrity guest hosts have also crossed my mind...

goblinbox said...

...or when McIntyre turns into Hunnicut.

Anonymous said...

I hear Raven Symone could use some work. But if it were up to me, I'd check to see if there were any more Lawrence brothers.

My blog jumped the shark before I ever started blogging.

Antonio said...

Oh yes, we all live for comments (*cough*). You can't turn hetero, who will we all dream about at night (the guys anyway)? :(

By the way thanks for the five questions. I posted my response
/shameless plug

Cooper said...

"We'll love you forever
We'll like you for always,
As long as we're living
Our GayProf you'll be."

Yeah, I've been reading a LOT of children's books, lately!

Marius said...

Interesting. I'm actually from the lower Rio Grande Valley--born and raised. I'm kind of surprised that you weren't impressed by Austin. Oh, we have at least one thing in common: an unconditional love for Lynda Carter. I'll post something about her within the next few days. You'll be the first to know. :)

dykewife said...

there is no way that your blog could ever "jump the shark". so long as there are other humans in the world you shall have a rich source of material upon which to expound, amuse and generally be cool talking about.

so there!

Krebs said...

I'm always so late to comment on your posts. Anyway, I understand. All the stories have been told and you run the risk of repeating yourself. It's blog puberty and it's completely natural I think.

Earl Cootie said...

You can't force the gravitas. But I like you just as well when you're light and fluffy.

GayProf said...

Goblinbox: Or when Dan was cheating on Roseanne...

JP: Your blog has not even come to close to jumping the shark. Aren't you still screwing with Fran?

Antonio: Fear not. If I turned hetero, I wouldn't be able to date men anymore. That just seems too sad to even contemplate.

Cooper: Children's books sounds like a good topic for a blog entry...

Marius: I wait with anticipation.

DykeWife: Contact with other humans! Damn -- I knew there was something that I was forgetting to do.

Krebs: It's never too late to comment. Man, I hope that this blog puberty involves as much masturbation as my other puberty.

Earl: Light and fluffy, eh? Like a Marshmallow Peep?

goblinbox said...

P.S. All your comments are belong to us!!!

Roger Green said...

newsfront.html - first story.
See, GP, there will ALWAYS be something to write about. (BTW, the URL will change by next Thursday, as the article goes to the back issues.)

gayborhood gringo said...

hopefully you won't leave. you seem to have plenty to say and it's always been enjoyable...at least to me.

Mike said...

When I have nothing in my quiver, I post butt shots. Sure it's tawdry, but then again, I get the most comments about those than anything else. My blog will never jump the shark because that would imply it reached heights in the first place. Like Oscar Wilde (without the writing talent) I'll just stay down here in the gutter looking up at the stars.

You're not going anywhere. If you run out of Wonder Woman covers you can switch to cartoon stills. Don't even think of stopping blogging.

Anonymous said...




Rebekah said...

Gayprof, reading your blog is a moment in my day I always enjoy.

When you have something to write, the readers will come.

(oh gosh. That sounded more dirty than the reference to the Kevin Costner baseball movie, didn't it?)

Elizabeth McClung said...

I'll always be here to stalk your wit and intellect and slightly obsessive wonder woman nature (I am trying not to hurt your feelings by saying "slightly") - even if you stop blogging or let blogging dictate your actions or mental state - I believe in YOU, or rather your ability to amuse me for 4 minutes three times a week. Go Gayprof!

GayProf said...

Goblinbox: What? No copyright protection for GayProf?

ROG: My favorite part of that story is that the police kept asking for her "enemies." 'Cuz clearly people are never targeted just because they are gay.

Gayborhood Gringo: I don't plan to leave quite yet. Unless the restraining order goes through...

Mike: Ass shots, eh? It's crazy enough to work!

Rebekah: What's wrong with sounding dirty?

Elizabeth: My WW obsession makes me quirky. It's not at all a sign of deeper mental disorders. . . Right? Right?! Elizabeth? Are you there?

Doug said...

Larry is still around...I see a comment from him now and then.

Did you mean "hire a blog tsar" as in a ruler of Russia? Or is that a typo for "hire a blog star." Either way, I don't think I get it.

You are the 233rd google hit for scat. ;)

If I were a police officer and arrested you for stalking Chris Evans, he'd be the one in handcuffs. Oh the temptation!

Ariel said...

Bring back the tasteful ass shots then...