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As many of us are seeing last semester’s teaching evaluations return to us, let me help you read between the lines of those anonymous student comments that aren’t really about your teaching at all. It’s time for one of my favorite segments at CoG, “What They Say and What They Really Mean.”
What They Say in the Written Evaluation: “This class was one of the best classes that I have ever taken.”
What They Mean: “This class was one of the best classes that I have ever taken.”
***
What They Say: “This is the worst class that I have ever taken.”
What They Mean: “This class challenged many of my most basic assumptions and required me to work hard.”
***
What They Say: “This professor was really condescending.”
What They Mean: “I can’t take criticism.”
***
What They Say: “This class required too much reading.”
What They Mean: “To pass this class, I actually had to crack a book on my own time.”
***
What They Say: "This class was so easy it was a joke."
What They Mean: "After years of reading student complaints in evaluations, this professor has simply given up."
***
What They Say: "This professor is a leading scholar in the field."
What They Mean: "This professor assigned hir own book as required reading."
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIqAfb2yYisAmIQsm09UoMhJxkcJqM0ExyDCkcKfkObOsW_bMFtFxm6Ge9HqH6f7kaNBK8LNJwRccFHY7a3CLqBu5hQtR2c-1xtN5X3tdUknMwfiMxki3mJrCzGzIHsvoAThGS/s320/academicgown.jpg)
***
What They Say: “This was one of the funniest professors that I have ever had.”
What They Mean: “I didn't learn a damn thing, but the professor should be given a late-night talk show.”
***
What They Say: “This professor was filled with lots and lots of energy.”
What They Mean: “I think that this professor might have a cocaine problem.”
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVVbsdNFhZxCvor2bfzEuFmnaf8-U3HuBu1XUupZ9WJ4t0J0Kk9ii0RTz5a7eNj71HzjEtJUVrBnfhJV520HRLbCXL2FUmaNLmCsufdlUPRx07UXvtPDiIVbmltbj99rVPi6AA/s320/image-of-cocaine.jpg)
***
What They Say: “The professor should post the lecture notes on-line so that we can have something to follow in class.”
What They Mean: “The professor should post the lecture notes on-line so that we won’t have to go to class at all.”
***
What They Say: "This professor is a fool."
What They Really Mean: "My hubris as a first-semester freshman leads me to believe that I know more than the people who spent the past twenty years studying this topic."
***
What They Say: “Discussion during class was often filled with awkward silence.”
What They Mean: “My classmates didn’t do any of the reading and therefore had nothing to say.”
***
What They Say: “The professor has the worst taste in clothes that I have ever seen.”
What They Mean: “I have no idea about what constitutes an appropriate professional relationship and will probably be fired from my first job.”
***
What They Say: “This class should have had more films.”
What They Mean: “I was often too drunk to pay attention to the lectures.”
***
What They Say: “This class had a lot of films.”
What They mean: “The professor was often too drunk to lecture.”
***
What They Say: "This class involved a lot of discussion of the cultural significance of Wonder Woman."
What They Mean: "This class was taught by GayProf."
***
What They Say: “Grading for this class was totally unfair.”
What They Mean: “I am getting a ‘F’ in this class.”
***
What They Say: “Grading for this class was totally fair.”
What They mean: “I am getting an ‘A’ in this class.”
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBAH0eMlpqbkHoCW5_KqJxEC5PM3RgYuWRsXxQ7egesY3g7cDEpjvTiHU_PJsW1CZfa3cktKn_QTCk5QHw24GI9vD4aPwNTUobDrmxzlTuWmxgF9GlL1tK08wv-3PsJqVhowyD/s320/Grading+Scale.gif)
***
What They Say: “There was too much reading about women in this class.”
What They Mean: “I think women should be chained to the stove.”
***
What They Say: “This class was so unfair. I passed the AP test in this topic and yet I still ended up with a ‘C.’”
What They Mean: “I have confused high-school competence for university-level work.”
***
What They Say: “I was really disappointed that we didn’t talk more about battlefield strategies in this history class.”
What They Mean: “I get most of my information about the past from the History Channel.”
***
What They Say: “I was really disappointed that we didn’t talk about more contemporary novels in this literature class.”
What They Mean: “I think John Grishman is the pinnacle of American literature.”
***
What They Say: “This professor was too strict.”
What They Mean: “I had fantasies about this professor spanking me.”
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVKZhhm2QeGEy1YZQM4lKmP7Q_bCuo3BZR7A3WCY_FiKGgxRvbIpRwRDFA-SmgAHB5Zd6x66stxFuYA0NYrRr8Rfs2zW1TisqU4NaLaJdH6xcVYd03BIQAYtpi-pdr0WnFX-f7/s320/beefcake.jpg)
***
What They Say: “This professor had a political agenda.”
What They Mean: “This professor didn’t allow me to spout off about my political agenda without evidence to support my point.”
***
What They Say: “I shouldn’t have to read about gay people in a class that is required for graduation.”
What They Mean: “My religion teaches me to think of gays and lesbians as less than human.”
***
What They Say: “The attendance policy for this class treats us like we are children.”
What They Mean: “I had to cancel a two-week vacation in Paris because attendance was required for this class.”
***
What They Say: “This class would have been better if taught by an American.”
What They Mean: “I am a member of the KKK.”
***
What They Say: “The lectures were monotonous and boring.”
What They Mean: “I have confused attending university with watching television.”
***
What They Say: “This woman (or African American, or Latino/a, or Asian) professor clearly favored women (or African American, or Latino, or Asian) students.”
What They Mean: “I don’t like taking classes that aren’t taught by a white man.”
***
What They Say: “This professor didn’t care at all about students and was really detached.”
What They Mean: “This professor expected us to be adults and do our work.”
***
What They Say: “This class really stimulated my interest in this topic. I frequently went to office hours just to talk more about the material. I have now declared this topic my major.”
What They Mean: “I am secretly in love with this professor.”
***
What They Say: The professor was often late to class.
What They Mean: This professor secretly fights crime on the side.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyjjU1kA51ZdHvXBT43I9pzHHc__onFiHbT3mZGr8h3lxtjOYuZNg9oZ2sJgG1RyHgB2Bg8GkJC6sGxq630KGlHPP0tU4EYmb8y6mUq1YFTd8UB7-vj3SwhrjPRiIrnwKyG6AW/s320/wwlate.bmp)
50 comments:
Heh. One of the comments I've always remembered from one of my students when I was a TA was along the lines of, "He wouldn't help our group." Which, of course, translated to, "I never asked questions in class, e-mailed with questions outside of class, or in any other way tried to request assistance when I needed it. I just don't know why he didn't give us the answers." Never mind the fact that my students showed greater competence than any of the other class sections.
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Written Comments: Too much Wonder Woman, too little Wonder Twins
See, I never wrote evaluation comments like that. Mostly because I was only required to take 14 units of anything outside of the engineering class (and an electrical engineering lab counted for my upper-level writing class). My (required) education was about as well rounded as plywood. Books were only cracked when I needed to look up what equations to write down on my equation sheet.
Brilliant.
since we all know this, why do we still have subjective evals?
of course, I didn't know that last one. I wish I did, may be that would have stopped all those girls from trying to carry my briefcase to and from my office semester after semester & showing up to office hours with absolutely nothing to say bu "hi" . . .
I have only one minor revision to this excellent translation guide:
What They Say: “Discussion during class was often filled with awkward silence.”
What They Mean: “My classmates AND I didn’t do any of the reading and therefore had nothing to say.”
Otherwise, it should be required reading for all committees which evaluate teaching.
This post was hilarious! Thanks. I have a pile of student course evaluations to read that I'm trying to avoid....
Can I include this in my tenure file so the committee is clear on the translation?
My husband once showed "Do the Right Thing" in a class on "cultural pluralism in the USA" in rural Ohio, and on his student evals, one kids wrote, "I thought this class was about American culture, not black culture."
Translating that one should be pretty easy, right?
It's amazing how easily one's secret crime-fighting identity is discovered when one is a professor. The superhero handbook should make a note for new superheroes to choose a non-professorial occupation.
Mel: Yeah, it's like the question "Was This Professor Available Outside of Class for Help?" Even though I have office hours twice a week (which are printed on the syllabus, web page, and I remind them about every class session), and I am also willing to make appointments for those who can't make office hours, I still score as "adequate." Unless I sleep at their house, apparently, I am not fully available.
Dr. No: Form of: Gravitas.
Pacalaga: From what it looks like from the outside, the current Arizona legislature is really interested in making sure that undergraduates never have to read a modern novel ever again.
Kiita: Tell me more about my eyes...
Susurro: Sounds like somebody was the object of students' affections.
Susan: The mirror of this comment is often "The professor spent all of discussion time talking and didn't give us a chance to participate." Which means, "The professor realized that we hadn't read and therefore spent the time covering material that we should have known before we arrived."
Anon: Kerosene and a match will take care of those evals.
Nik: I was thinking of having this list engraved on stone tablets for installation in the department lobby.
Jackie: Oh, if only I could count how many of those comments that I have received over the course of my short teaching career. I also particularly like, "This professor was obsessed with Latinos (or African Americans or Gays or women or sexuality or...)" Which means, "This professor asked us to think about a group that wasn't white, straight, and male in more than a token gesture."
Doug: I know, right? Maybe that's why Diana Prince gave up being a nurse. It must have been awkward to explain why her patient died while she was out battling Doctor Psycho.
I only recall writing comments on maybe two of the evals I submitted in college, and they were both along the lines of, "one of the best classes ever." I usually wanted to submit it as quickly as possible, so that I could leave 15 minutes early-- and, to be fair, I liked most of my professors, especially once I got into higher level classes.
The mirror of this comment is often "The professor spent all of discussion time talking . . . Which means, "The professor realized that we hadn't read . . ."
I am photocopying this and sending it interoffice mail to the former director of our department. shhh don't tell.
(as for the other thing, I honestly didn't know, I just thought they were annoying and oddly vapid)
oh lord! (or rather, ¡ai virgencita!) working in a university english department i hear the "i need to speak with the DEAN, my professor is unfair!" all too often. most of the time it's in the tone of faye dunnaway from mommie deareast "christina bring me the axe!" i bite my tongue and usher the student towards our complaint policy handout, then shoo him/her out of my office.
I love it when you do these. My favorite - I have confused attending university with watching television.
It's all true!
This was so right on, and so funny. I had to post it on my blog. Thanks so much for writing it.
Bill S.: Indeed, most students don't really bother with written comments (and even less so now that they are on-line). This makes the numeric scores all the more opaque.
Sussuro: I hope management takes the hint.
Sammuel: At my former gig, I actually had a student's mother call and complain to the dean (who totally backed me). So much for students being adults.
Torn: These are one of my favorite things at CoG, too. Unlike NERPoD, I never tire of writing them.
Ahistoricality: That's why it's funny -- and mind-numbingly depressing all in one go.
Michael Lujan Bevacqua: Thanks for the linky love. It's always appreciated.
My favorite from a first-year student: "This teacher is so arrogant; he thinks he knows more than anyone else in the class."
Thanks for the laugh this a.m. Probably 95% true.
These made my day-thanks!
Oh this isn't completely fair. When I show up to office hours and talk with my professor about the topic its largely because I am starved for real conversation on my field of study. My fellow students bore me to depth and I always want to take what I learn in class to the next level. Where can I get that? Office hours.
Interesting.
Word Verification: deletro - super hero with the uncanny ability to remove unfavorable comments.
So did you post today then remove it? "Gayprof Irritated" shows up on my logroll from 3 hours ago.
Thanks for the chuckle. I couldn't help but think of the upcoming vacancy for Conan O'Brien's show slot when I read the "comment" about the funny professor.
Very funny, and very true.
It doesn't get better in professional schools - medical students routinely hand in "ugly prof" comments disparaging hairdo, clothing choice, etc. - and it's not just my evaluation, it's a common occurrence for all female faculty.
What they say:
"Irrelevant material was presented"
What they mean:
"Lecture lasted 50.5 minutes, instead of scheduled 50.0 minutes, or the far more desirable 40.0 minutes"
(my take: If the students showed up on time, I'd start on time and finish on time!)
"Lecture presented 2 minutes of clinical information explaining why the subject of the lecture was important to know in real medical practice, but that was not specifically tested on the exam"
(my take: What are you going to do when a patient shows up with a condition not featured on an exam - ignore him?)
NancyP
it's so nice to understand that in these matters all the world is similar
here we still have the paper evaluations, this year made by some kind of specialized enterprise and it was so bad that i laughed all the time when they were trying to answer it (at least some of them were bright enough to laugh also when they discovered how stupid the questions were)
but al least they just choose from 1 to 5, they don't write anything
ó (from portugal)
LOVE IT!!! I plan on rereading my course evaluations from last semester against the grain now that I've read this post!
Btw: I teach Gender & Pop Culture and have my students blog each written assignment after creating their own blogs for the course; therefore, my "professor blog" never contains this much hilarity b/c my identity is completely obvious :o)
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