Thursday, December 21, 2006


Below my apartment window, children from the neighborhood cheerfully play. Public schools have closed for the holidays and they are clearly enjoying their freedom. As I listen to their laughter and games, I think to myself, “Isn’t there some factory where they could be working?”

I leave in a couple days for New Mexico to spend the holidays with my family. “GayProf,” I hear you saying, “Before you go, we must know how the most desirable man on the blogosphere spends his holidays.” Fear not, kiddies, all your questions will be answered via a meme found at Cooper’s:

    Eggnog or Hot Chocolate? You can have Hot Chocolate anytime, but Eggnog is only around once per year. Moreover, one has liquor, the other does not. What do you think?

    Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree? Santa used to leave gifts in a stocking by the fireplace. Isn’t that his deal? Why would he leave them under the tree? That’s just crazy talk.

    Colored lights on tree/house or white? I like clear.

    Do you hang mistletoe? Yes, when I decorate (which I did not do this year). One never knows when Anderson Cooper might pop into your apartment. I believe in being ready.

    When do you put your decorations up? When I decorate, I usually set things up around December 15.

    What is your favorite Christmas dish? Tamales

    Favorite Christmas memory as a child? My oldest sister would always wake us up as early as possible to start going through our stockings. Unlike the presents under the tree, my parents allowed us to see what Santa left before they woke-up (my parents liked the extra sleep). My sister’s excitement was infectious, even if it appeared at three in the morning. From what I understand, she currently makes her seven-year-old son get up at about the same time.

    When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I can’t remember if it was second or third grade, but several classmates and I were at a friend’s house shortly before Christmas. We weighed the possibilities, listened to testimony from both sides, and came to a conclusion. I didn’t find it particularly traumatic. Actually, I more remember not wanting my parents to be disappointed that I knew the truth.

    What tops your tree? Usually an angel. Some years it’s Farah Fawcett, other years it’s Jacqueline Smith.

    Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Yes – Usually my sisters and I would have spent the previous week debating which gift we would open December 24. This involved some serious calculations and estimations, including literally weighing some packages.

    What kind of cookies does Santa get set out for him? Santa didn’t get cookies. I think he had an early commitment to a low-carb diet.

    Snow! Love it or hate it? Usually, I love snow. Since I left my car in Texas, however, I am more than fine with Boston’s mild winter this year. Given this city seems to have an anti-bus shelter agenda, I am content with the sunshine provided by global-warming.

    Can you ice skate? I have only been ice-skating once in my life, my freshman year of college. To my recollection, I would say “no.”

    Do you remember your favorite present? Mego Wonder Woman

    What's the most important thing about Christmas to you? The holidays designate a period when we consciously reflect on the important people in our lives and express our love for them. Or, maybe it’s all the gifts. Whatever.

    What is your favorite holiday dessert? New Mexico state law requires that I say biscochitos. Only, though, if they are made with brandy and lard. Don’t try to pass off a dry, teetotaler, lump of a cookie on me. I want a holiday cookie that will wreck your health all in one go.

    Favorite tradition? I always liked the satisfaction of creating and arranging luminarias (really called farolitos, but that is another story). Normally I detested physical labor as a child. Spending most of Christmas Eve, however, filling bags with sand, coming up with interesting ways to arrange them, and then lighting them never felt like work.

    Now, though, luminarias have become too common, electric, and plastic. Thank you, commercialism, for destroying a regionally-specific tradition. Eh – Given my parents moved to the mountains, where luminarias would be a serious forest-fire hazard, it’s moot anyway.

    Which do you prefer - giving or receiving? I am versatile.

    What is your favorite Christmas Carol? "2,000 Miles" by the Pretenders

    Candy Canes? Maybe one per year. I don’t tend to like sugar-candy – only chocolate.

Before heading out, I will offer these last bloggy things. Editors at Time magazine decided to make a joke of their publication by naming “you” as person of the year. Tell me somebody isn’t going to be fired for that.

Being helpful, here are my recommendations for who would have been better choices (hat-tip to Red Turtles for the link to the template):


Laura Roslin, President of the Colonies

It goes without saying:

Of course, the most worthy:

Happy Holidays and Safe Travels, My Blogger Friends!


vuboq said...

Some of us choose to put likker in both our egg nog AND our hot chocolate. Mmmm. sweet sweet likker.

Safe travels to New Mexico!

*happy holiday smooches*

Anonymous said...

Thanks for giving readers this holiday gift, GayProf! Safe journeys!

Anonymous said...

Heh! I'd personally put it between you and Pres. Roslin. And what about Lee Adama? Wait, scratch that, he's been a bit bratty lately.

To build on vuboq's point, really, I see no need to cover up the liquor with anything. I'd chuck both drinks and just have a nice vodka martini.

I hope you have a great time with the folks and have a happy Christmas!

Anonymous said...

"One never knows when Anderson Cooper might pop into your apartment. I believe in being ready."

One never knows when another Cooper might pop into your apartment ;)

Feliz Navidad, Most Desirable Man on the Blogosphere!

Anonymous said...

Hey Gay Prof-

Hope you have an enjoyable Christmas. I've only been reading your blog for a little while now but I do enjoy your posts. Thanks! Do keep it up.

Ps. True story- 3 Xmases ago in a frigid Hamptons restaurant, Anderson (at a table with 8 guys) was totally checking me out.. but it's well-known he prefers Latin men.. oh well.

Anonymous said...

I really think you should consider giving Kate Jackson a chance at the top of the three.

After you do that, I will write Time magazine a letter requesting that they revoke their previous person(s) of the year and give the award to Gayprof, who is much more deserving.

Roger Owen Green said...

But GP IS Person the Year (but then, aren't we all). Anyway, GP, merry/happy. Bought Ameretto last week, for the eggnog. Hmmm, eggnog!

tornwordo said...

Have a fabulous holiday. Eat a tamale for me (I salivated when I saw those).

Doug said...

Do you tie one angel to the top of the tree and make the other angel rescue her?

You are so person of the year.

Have a Merry Christmas!

Max Cady said...

My favourite Christmas tradition is my sister always setting her clothes on fire when my parents take us the Christmas Eve Mass. She always plays with the candles they give everyone and sets something on fire (usually herself) and pouring wax on me.

Anonymous said...

My hot chocolate has Bailey's in it all year 'round. Doesn't everyone's?

Feliz Navidad GayProf! My friend in NM has been sending me pictures of the snow there for two days. Sadly, it'll probably be gone by the time you get home. Travel safe!

GayProf said...

VUBOQ: Yes -- liquor makes the holidays much better.

Aruthr: Happy Holidays!

Atari: I like the way you think. Eggnog and chocolate just get in the way.

Cooper: True -- Maybe I will pick up some mistletoe after all.

Deschenel: Thanks for stopping by my little bloggy. Don't be a stranger.

JPDC: Kate Jackson is too busy being the angel in my nativity scene.

ROG: Yeah, but the picture Time used on the cover didn't look a thing like me.

Torn: I have come to depend on the kindness of strangers for my tamales. God knows that nobody in my family bothers to actually make them ("Too much work," they cry out. Lazy slugs). Usually, though, my mother's best friend sends them over. She also doesn't skimp on spices. Yum.

Doug: The angels knew the danger of their mission when they took that job.

L: Nothing says holiday fun like pyromania.

Laura Elizabeth: Hail, fellow Cancer. Did I know that we shared a sun-sign? Bailey's is another drink I enjoy for the holidays.

r said...

Thanks for the smile gayprof...

Have a great holiday with the warm!

diablo said...

some of us do put likker in our hot chocolate! i recommend Nocello in a nice frothy and viscous mexican hot chocolate. perfect for chilly days in winter, if there are any anymore.

mmm tamales. don't eat them anymore since i went vegetarian. my mother's are lard laden and those that i've found that aren't made with the offending slaughtered meat derived product lack a certain quality, a quality (or rather a sense) i'll refer to as "actively embracing your mortality" for lack of imagination on my part.

do you have pan de polvo in NM? those are the standard south Texas holiday fare.

happy NM holidays.

ChristopherM said...

GayProf, have a lovely time in the Land of Enchantment, and this time, please refrain from eating the green chile breakfast burritos before you actually deliver them to me.

Anonymous said...

Loved this post. Have a great Christmas!

GayProf said...

Rebekah: Have a good holiday! Give the wonder dog an extra snack on Santa's behalf.

Diablo: Lard is the secret ingredient to all good Mexican food. Mmmm -- Lard. I will return to Boston quite heavy.

We do have pan de polvo, but those "wedding cookies" take second stage compared with biscochitos (which, I kid you not, is the official state cookie of New Mexico. Evidence that the New Mexico legislature really has too much time on their hands).

To be honest, my real favorite Christmas dessert is something that my grandmother used to make. It was a date confection, about the same consistency as fudge (but made with dates, not chocolate). I have no idea of its real name. Any ideas?

Christopher: I make no promises when it comes to green chile.

Yen: Thanks for coming by my little bloggy. Have a great holiday!

diablo said...

i have vague memories of date candies but i have always hated dates so i've repressed those thoughts. dates make me thing of big roaches only gooeier and with a sticky sugary coating :) could it be some type of membrillo? there's quince and quava paste so maybe there's date paste too. or maybe its the walnut and date roll that appears on this site but you can't access unless you pay for membership: it's near the bottom of the left hand column.

Earl Cootie said...

I haven't had a good tamale since I left Arizona. (And don't tell me, I know, they probably don't compare to New Mexico tamales.) But I've had tequila (good and bad) all along.

Happy holiday, GayProf!

Anonymous said...

Happy Holidays, GayProf! Hope Santa leaves lots of tamales, Charlie's Angels dolls, vintage Wonder Woman comic books, hot mens, and a "For Sale - Sold!" sign under the tree for you!

Anonymous said...

Oh Gay Prof - once again I find affinity with two of your comments. 1-I also felt guilty rather than duped when I found out about Santa Claus. In fact, I think I kept up the charade until I was 14, or some other ridiculous age when I was already sexually active, in an awkward game with my parents so as not to make them feel like their youngest had finally grown up.
2-We too used to put up luminarias - in Miami! I just asked my mom and she said people in the neighborhood liked to do it even though there's never been any Mexicans or New Mexicans in the neighborhood. Who knew? I always thought it was a Cuban tradition that we stopped celebrating.
Feliz Navidad!

Anonymous said...

Best Christmas carol runner up? Could it be Merry Christmas Darling, by Karen Carpenter?

Adam said...

I heart that Pretenders song as well. I say there should be a triumverate between you, Roslin, and Wonder Woman!

Kalv1n said...

Aw, I love eggnog too. And I think I'm the only person in the entire world who actually likes what time magazine did. But you should have (of course) been person of the year. But shouldn't there be some picture of you in a smoking jacket with a cigar and a snifter of brandy? Hope that all is well with your winter season.

Anonymous said...

Okay Mr. Gayprof,

Where are you? It's been over a week now. I need some intelligent writing to get me through.

Hope you're having a good holiday!

GayProf said...

Rebekah: Aww -- It's nice to be missed. That's sweet of you.

I have returned to Boston and will start writing on my little bloggy again soon -- probably...

Anonymous said...

I couldn't care less about global-warming because I'm also content with the sunshine provided by global-warming causing our mild New England weather this time of year. And you look fabulous on the cover of Time! Hope you had a great holiday.